Sunday, April 15, 2012

Trigger?!

So yesterday morning we went in for another ultrasound and bloodwork.  There were TONS and TONS of follies on both sides, and my estrogen was at 2969.  The RE I saw said that he felt there would be about 10 - 16 mature by Monday.

So....

I triggered last night at 10:00pm.  We have to be at the RE at 8:30am tomorrow morning for a 10:00 am retrieval.

I have to be honest, it almost doesn't seem real to me right now.  To us really.  After all we dealt with back in 2008 with IVF it's amazing that our first try at a cycle with a brand new RE is going so good.  It scares me a little that it'll all fall apart, but I'm keeping the hope that it won't.  I POAS this morning, and of course since you trigger with HCG it was positive.  I wanted to make sure it was.  I packed the second test away in hopes that I'll be using it in a couple of weeks for another, better positive.  I want this to work so bad, but every day I pray to God and let him know that I know his will will happen, and that there's nothing I can do about it, and that I accept that no matter how hard it is/will be.  I just hope hope hope it works out the way I want it to, the way I pray it will.

So yesterday, on top of the appointment and trigger, was my birthday.  I turned 32.  I've never really been a big birthday person, although since I was pregnant on my 30th they have been better.  Nana babysat and we went out to dinner, and then bought me a couple of new work shirts that I needed.  Nothing real exciting, but it was a TON of fun.  So nice to get out of the house.  Plus we needed to keep me up until 10 for the trigger, which I've been unsuccessful in doing lately (the hormones just wear me the heck out).

So I'm a bundle of nerves about everything, but at the same time strangely calm.  I don't know if that even makes sense, and I sure can't explain it.  I'm just hoping and praying for the best, and keeping my head held high.  The money is paid, we are now here.  This is it - our last shot at having a baby that looks like the both of us.  I'm at peace with that decision, and whatever decision we make if it doesn't work.  But that doesn't mean it's easy, because it's not.  I'm emotional over it.  But then I look at my bank account and know that financially and emotionally this being the last shot is the right thing.

Deep breathing.  Hopefully tomorrow goes smooth.

3 comments:

  1. wow, it sounds like things are going great! i'm so excited for you, good luck with the er.

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  2. Keeping fingers crossed for you that this morning goes smoothly! Also, happy belated birthday!

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