Thursday, June 30, 2011

Because we all need a good laugh!

One of my staff, we'll call her L, was telling us all recently about running into an old high school flame.  L is in her 50's, and yes, this is pertinent to the story.  Well, there were a number of conversations with different people that she had over the last few weeks about this run in, and a couple others with this guy.

Before I move on, let me tell you that we are in an office of mostly woman.  The newest employee is a male that is in his early 30's (I think).  He's a very sweet guy and has a great sense of humor.  We'll call him A.

OK, so after a recent conversation that L was having with another coworker, A went up to this coworker all concerned.  He whispered to her, wanting to not be overheard:

"I don't mean to butt in, but should I be concerned, is L really dating a high schooler?"

DOH!  Here's your sign.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I've been commenting on others blogs as much as possible, but the last week has been crazy. We packed up the apartment and moved into our new house! I'd post pictures, but the dog broke the camera over the weekend. Yep, the dog did it. I'll tell you that story later though.

So, Thursday was pretty much spent packing, and we all felt good about what we got done. I started spotting here (anyone remember this happening last month too?)

Friday we moved two big loads of boxes and smaller items to the house, and tried to at least get the stuff in the room it belonged in. Some more spotting, I just assumed it was a repeat of last month.

Saturday we did another load of boxes and smaller items in the morning, then the movers came to do all the big, heavy, furniture. Then we spent some time trying to unpack in the afternoon while we still had my mom around. And yes, more spotting.

Sunday we made our last trip with a bunch of stored items (from the house back home) in the morning before my mom left. The afternoon was spent attempting to finish unloading that load and putting stuff away... all while watching the baby. And more spotting. It's getting old now, the move needs to be done and the spotting needs to go away.

Monday, the baby went to daycare, and we went to the apartment to get the last misc items and clean, clean, clean. In the meantime, I got to begin fighting off my Aunt. The bitch decided it was time, after about 20 months of being a no show (thankfully - I'm not complaining about that part) she came, and she came with a vengeance. It felt like a teenage boy was scraping my insides with a dull razor. Yeah, it felt that good. And the sheer amount. I know I was warned about this time coming, but I've never dealt with such an angry, angry aunt.

I was actually enjoying not being among the ranks of this part of womanhood. I mean, really, we all wished this on ourselves as teenagers (at least, those of us late bloomers), didn't we? I know I did... I was 16 when I started, and was embarrassed to tell people that I hadn't (I was a gymnast). Wow, was I ignorant.

It's like the long lost family member that everyone remembered, in the dark recesses of their minds, but tried to forget. That person that you were worried that if you thought too much about them, they just might show up on your doorstep. I don't think any of us missed this family member, not me, not K, and probably not even the dog. Heck, Bug didn't miss it, and she didn't even know what she wasn't missing! Then BOOM. There she is. On my doorstep. Waving the angry red flag saying 'Woo Hoo, Guess who's home? I've missed you, I just KNOW you've missed me too! Now, what kind of yummy greasy food is for dinner tonight (chicken noodle soup)? And Ice Cream for dessert I hope (absolutely), but cake will do if that's all you have' as she pushed her way in, past my wide eyes, while my brain screamed 'no, go away, I'm not quite ready for you yet!!!'

The worst part? I was totally unprepared. One would think 'Hey Emms, you had that cutie pie 11 months ago, wouldn't you have thought that at one time or another, during that long wait, that you would have purchased some care for this much hated anticipated moment?' Nope, nah, not me. I had to dig through a box, in the garage, in the middle of the night with just a liner on, looking for something, anything. At least I found the few pads left from delivery, and didn't have to go out in the middle of the night for something!

Moving is bad enough, but add to it the coursing hormones through my body.... ugh.... I know, I know, it's part of life, blah blah blah. Just wait for the posts once I start the BCP's and injections in preparation for IVF ha ha ha.

I recognize that I even need it back to get this baby making thing going again. But, I was kinda hoping that they would work around it and my 'first' would be the one that they force me to have when starting the process for IVF. Hey, a girl can wish, can't she?

Why, why must she be so mean to me? (insert whiny voice here)

Well, I'm beat up, covered in bruises and sore as all get out. Dealing with the nasty aunt we all know and hate, and back to work today to an inbox full of crap to do. Unpacking will take months I think, especially with K leaving in a few days for work. I guess the good thing is that I didn't, and don't, have most of the symptoms that I used to get with her. No cramping, no migraine, not really even too much moodiness (although you probably can't tell from this post!), just some bloating. Of course, if I HAD those symptoms, I may have been better prepared :-p

The joys of life :-)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

9 years ago today

I was waking up after not being able to sleep.

I was grabbing a bagel for breakfast and heading to the hairdressers. We got free donuts that morning from the donut shop across the street. It was a tradition I guess, and they always sent people over.

9 years ago today I cried as we drove past the cemetery where my Nana is buried. She was missing this amazing day, as she had missed others. I missed her so and felt the pain of my loss as I had that night almost 5 years prior.

9 years ago today we were rushing back to my apartment to gather everything we needed, all my girls and my mom. Freaking out because we were running late.

9 years ago today I was feeling blessed as I got ready downstairs in the church. It was Hot Hot Hot outside, abnormally hot for that day in June.

9 years ago today my parents walked me down the aisle and handed me off to my future, my destiny.

9 years ago today I married my best friend. My soul mate. The love of my life. Without him I would be nothing, with him I am fulfilled.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

It's Hard to Believe

That on this day last year, I was 36 weeks pregnant, and on my third week of bedrest. I was going CRAZY to say the least. It was hot, I was stuck on my couch, K was only around on the weekends because he was back home during the week. I got up just to shower, go pee (which as we all know was like every 10 minutes as Bug did jumping jacks on my bladder), and eat. I wanted so badly to stay pregnant longer, but on the other hand boy was I ready to have our little one!

I ended up being on bedrest for just a little over a month. Once I hit the 37 week mark my Ob released me from bedrest, saying that if I went into labor at that point, she would let me go. Little did we know just how stubborn our little one would be... apparently, since we told her she couldn't come at 32 1/2 weeks like we were worried she was going to (hence the bedrest - threatened PTL), that she would take her time and come when she was good and cooked.

At 38 weeks we stripped my membranes. Some spotting occurred, but that was it. I was a fingertip dilated and about 40% effaced. A week passed.

Then again at 39 weeks she stripped my membranes. Now I was a whole 1/2 centimeter dilated, and about 60% effaced. Another week passed, and boy was it hot out.

Then again at my 40 week appointment, she stripped my membranes. I was still only 1/2 centimeter dilated, but was about 90% effaced. My Ob was surprised (as was my nurse) that I was still pregnant. So was I!! I was SO BIG!!! (Have I ever mentioned that I'm only 5 foot 1/2 inch?) We passed our NST with flying colors (Bug decided to dance dance dance around). The ultrasound showed a great fluid level, and they thought Bug would be about 7 pounds 4 ounces. I knew not to believe that as late term ultrasounds are notoriously wrong.

My Ob made me schedule an induction date, even though I really really really didn't want to be induced. (and had turned her down in the past when she mentioned it). We ended up scheduling it for July 26, just because it would work well for K to be in town when it happened. That would have put me at almost 41 weeks.

Luckily, I only had to wait 4 more days, and our sweet little bug came into this world at 40 weeks and 4 days :-) I will post her birth story on her birthday, as I feel that is very fitting.

I cannot believe it's been almost a year. It's gone by so quick, and I love watching all of her milestones and look forward to more, but I really miss being pregnant, and our little infant.

I love Bug more than anything in the world.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

pooing in peace

So the other night K and I were talking about how bug is crawling all over the place. I was mentioning how she is getting quick and using me as a jungle gym. Then I happen to randomly mention that I had to go to the bathroom. I will let the conversation that followed speak for itself-
k: oh man
Me: what
K: you never get to poo in peace anymore do you
Me: (laughing and thinking to myself that it took him almost 11 months to realize this?) Nope
K: that must suck
Me: laughing...a little
K: does she just disappear by crawling away?
Me: sometimes, that's why I close the bedroom door now so she can't get very far
K: oh man.

So, to all you part time or full time single parents, or SAHP, here is to pooing in peace.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Quick Vent

So, I am a manager of a contracting department.  We are in the process of some expansion efforts, with a deadline of 7/1/11.

Today, one of my contracting reps turned in his two week notice.  He is going to a competitor, so I received approval from HR and immediately escorted him out the door, not to live out the remainder of his notice.  This helps us to hopefully not have him take too much data with him (ha, if he wanted to he probably took it PRIOR to turning in his notice, but whatever, this is how we work). 

So, 3 weeks before deadline, and I am suddenly finding myself doing my job AND his job.  Not to mention, cleaning up the SH** I have found that he did NOT do.  AND, it feels like starting all over with the things he had started, but did not finish contracting.

Ugh.  I need some wine tonight.

Vent done.  Thanks for listening.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Well, it's Monday

And I do have to say, that my weekend of working on getting Bug to fall asleep on her own only went somewhat stressfully.  Is that a word?  It is now! 

Well, I've been nursing Bug to sleep since she was born.  It has not been an issue until recently.  Between being sick and teething, she forgot how to self soothe.  This was not good.  I dealt with it for over 2 months, and it was very tiring.  Then it seemed to carry on, for no good reason.  So, starting on Friday, I started to switch up her bed time routine.  Nurse first, then bath (if it's bath night), baby massage, medicine, story and cuddle time.  Then, put her in bed drowsy, but awake.  Now, we've built 10 months of a routine, so I recognize it'll take a bit to change it.  So, when I put her in the crib I give her a lovey, and pat her butt and sing to her.  I'm not a CIO mama.  (not that I've never let her CIO when I just needed a minute, after all, I'm only human).  Friday she wanted to hold onto my arm instead of the lovey, but by last night it was almost OK for me to take my arm away.... Almost.  She still kinda had a hold on it.  But it's going quicker, and even better than that, she seems to be handling her during the night waking better (oh boy, I hope I'm not jinxing myself).  Now, it's not that she hasn't awakened, it's just that I go to her door and sing to her if she ramps up to upset.  I don't nurse her until 4ish if she wakes up around then.  Like I said, baby steps.  I wake up hungry in the middle of the night, so I'm sure she might too.  So, no point to totally night wean her until she is ready to do so. 

Work today was a bust.  We had a big storm come through Saturday night (I mean, big, the thunder that was rolling every minute or so set off the baby monitor!!!), and it somehow kicked out our connection with the server back at corporate.  Needless to say we were down until about noon, so this afternoon was tough to get through.... I hate days that start out like that.

On a good note, our house back home is rented!  I almost posted a vent post on Friday about it, but decided to cool down first.  Let's just say I'm not at ALL impressed with our management company.  We just felt like they didn't keep us in the loop at all.  We happened to bring this renter to them, and we found out that it was rented out by this RENTER calling us.  Yep, the renter, not the management company.  I ended up calling them, and we got the lease late Friday.  K actually called them back because I didn't even think about the utilities being switched out, so they got a piece of mind from him when he called them back.  He flat out told them that he was not happy with their service, and if nothing changes then in a year we'll be leaving.  Felt good.

Ahhhh, so now I can really actually save a little cash for IVF.  That makes me happy, and nervous all in the same.  I keep putting off calling these couple of RE offices to set up consults, I think I'm scared to take that first step.  Two reasons really, one because once you take that step, it's like jumping off a building - there's no going back.  Once we meet with them everything will start rolling and before I know it I'll be a human pincushion again.  (which, by the way, I'll have to actually learn to give myself the shots this time around - all the other cycle's K gave them to me!  But, that was before he was on the road so much!!!).

I recently started following a blog that has been out there for a bit (Infertile Myrtle), and she recently cancelled an IUI because she realized that she just wasn't ready to parent a second child.  I think I feel that fear a little bit, and that's another reason I haven't made the call yet.  It's so tough with just one baby, financially and emotionally, am I really sure that I'm ready for number 2?  With K being gone more than half the month, I'll be dealing with two young one's all by myself. 

We had agreed to start around Bug's first birthday because we recognize new RE means they have to learn us all over again.  The way I respond to meds leads us to believe that it could possibly take a few cycle's before we get it right and make it to an ER and ET.  So, it could be a year!  Then the 40 weeks of pregnancy, and the kiddos would be about 3 years apart.  We don't want them anymore than that.  Which makes me think KNOW that I can handle 2 young 'uns. 

I think the biggest fear is that it would actually work the first time and we would end up with twins or something.  THAT's what scares me the most.  Not just 2 young 'uns, but what if we get multiples?  Can I really handle it? 

I know, I know, I gotta talk to K about it.  I will, I promise, just not when he's on the road.

Off to pick up Bug from daycare. 


Thursday, June 2, 2011


I'm a little stressed.  We move at the end of this month to our new rental house, which is about 2x the rent we are currently paying.  We don't have any renters in our house back home yet.  We still owe the hospital for our delivery in July (long story, but it was the hospitals fault, they basically forgot about our account, and who were we to complain?  Stupid me had to bring it back up to them... trying to do the right thing.... ugh), so we are going to start payments to them soon.  K's newest student loans are going to come back soon for payment.  And now we want to start fertility treatments again, specifically expensive IVF.


I know we will pull through, I'm just feeling a little crazed about it right now.  We are really good with our money, but it's hard when the budget says you won't be saving much of anything to speak of.  This will change a little once we get renters in the house, which we are hoping will be soon.  But the problem is the first two months of rent will pretty much go to the management company, so we won't see much until month 3. 

Argh.  Well, I'm a good budgeter/saver, and I know this so I know I can make it happen, but that doesn't help the stress level.  Especially since I can't control how much K spends when he's travelling.

On a good note, I called the Ped about Bug and her horrible sleeping the other day, and he thought it might be because we were trying to wean her off her reflux meds.  So, I upped the nighttime dosage and went back to giving her her morning dosage, and guess what?  The last two nights she has slept SOOOOO much better!!!  Woo Hoo! 

Which means Mama has slept better, which makes for a happy mama, and a healthier Starbucks budget :-)