Monday, June 6, 2011

Well, it's Monday

And I do have to say, that my weekend of working on getting Bug to fall asleep on her own only went somewhat stressfully.  Is that a word?  It is now! 

Well, I've been nursing Bug to sleep since she was born.  It has not been an issue until recently.  Between being sick and teething, she forgot how to self soothe.  This was not good.  I dealt with it for over 2 months, and it was very tiring.  Then it seemed to carry on, for no good reason.  So, starting on Friday, I started to switch up her bed time routine.  Nurse first, then bath (if it's bath night), baby massage, medicine, story and cuddle time.  Then, put her in bed drowsy, but awake.  Now, we've built 10 months of a routine, so I recognize it'll take a bit to change it.  So, when I put her in the crib I give her a lovey, and pat her butt and sing to her.  I'm not a CIO mama.  (not that I've never let her CIO when I just needed a minute, after all, I'm only human).  Friday she wanted to hold onto my arm instead of the lovey, but by last night it was almost OK for me to take my arm away.... Almost.  She still kinda had a hold on it.  But it's going quicker, and even better than that, she seems to be handling her during the night waking better (oh boy, I hope I'm not jinxing myself).  Now, it's not that she hasn't awakened, it's just that I go to her door and sing to her if she ramps up to upset.  I don't nurse her until 4ish if she wakes up around then.  Like I said, baby steps.  I wake up hungry in the middle of the night, so I'm sure she might too.  So, no point to totally night wean her until she is ready to do so. 

Work today was a bust.  We had a big storm come through Saturday night (I mean, big, the thunder that was rolling every minute or so set off the baby monitor!!!), and it somehow kicked out our connection with the server back at corporate.  Needless to say we were down until about noon, so this afternoon was tough to get through.... I hate days that start out like that.

On a good note, our house back home is rented!  I almost posted a vent post on Friday about it, but decided to cool down first.  Let's just say I'm not at ALL impressed with our management company.  We just felt like they didn't keep us in the loop at all.  We happened to bring this renter to them, and we found out that it was rented out by this RENTER calling us.  Yep, the renter, not the management company.  I ended up calling them, and we got the lease late Friday.  K actually called them back because I didn't even think about the utilities being switched out, so they got a piece of mind from him when he called them back.  He flat out told them that he was not happy with their service, and if nothing changes then in a year we'll be leaving.  Felt good.

Ahhhh, so now I can really actually save a little cash for IVF.  That makes me happy, and nervous all in the same.  I keep putting off calling these couple of RE offices to set up consults, I think I'm scared to take that first step.  Two reasons really, one because once you take that step, it's like jumping off a building - there's no going back.  Once we meet with them everything will start rolling and before I know it I'll be a human pincushion again.  (which, by the way, I'll have to actually learn to give myself the shots this time around - all the other cycle's K gave them to me!  But, that was before he was on the road so much!!!).

I recently started following a blog that has been out there for a bit (Infertile Myrtle), and she recently cancelled an IUI because she realized that she just wasn't ready to parent a second child.  I think I feel that fear a little bit, and that's another reason I haven't made the call yet.  It's so tough with just one baby, financially and emotionally, am I really sure that I'm ready for number 2?  With K being gone more than half the month, I'll be dealing with two young one's all by myself. 

We had agreed to start around Bug's first birthday because we recognize new RE means they have to learn us all over again.  The way I respond to meds leads us to believe that it could possibly take a few cycle's before we get it right and make it to an ER and ET.  So, it could be a year!  Then the 40 weeks of pregnancy, and the kiddos would be about 3 years apart.  We don't want them anymore than that.  Which makes me think KNOW that I can handle 2 young 'uns. 

I think the biggest fear is that it would actually work the first time and we would end up with twins or something.  THAT's what scares me the most.  Not just 2 young 'uns, but what if we get multiples?  Can I really handle it? 

I know, I know, I gotta talk to K about it.  I will, I promise, just not when he's on the road.

Off to pick up Bug from daycare. 


1 comment:

  1. i also was not a cio kind of person. louise started sleeping through the night around 12 weeks, but then about 6 weeks later, she started waking up again. i knew she didn't need to be fed, but i felt she was too young to be in a dark room by herself in the middle of the night crying, so, when she woke up, we would go in her room, leave the lights off and rocked her back to sleep without interacting with her. i think it took a couple of months doing it that way, but there was no way i was going to let her cry alone in the dark. anyway, now she goes to bed at 8pm and gets up between 7-8am with a 2-3 hour nap around 12-1pm.