Excited. Amazed. Love.

So.  I don't even really know where to begin this post to be honest.  I think I've mentioned before that I'm having some symptoms.  It started last Sunday with the insane craving for Clausen pickles.  yes, it had to be Clausens.  I've eaten almost 3 jars in a week.

Then Monday I started feeling some twinges.  Those came and went for the next few days.  I got bloated, then it got better (although the pregnant looking tummy stayed) and now I'm bloated again (I mean, it feels like my stomach wants to explode out my sides).  I've started struggling with some heartburn.  I'm finding myself very tired, but at times I cannot sleep.  I've started waking up 2 or 3 times a night to pee.

Can anyone see where I'm going?

So on Friday, I peed on an OPK.  I've heard that they can work as a pregnancy test.  But see, the thing is I promised K that I wouldn't POAS without his agreement to do so.  So I figured that since it wasn't really a pregnancy test it didn't count, right?  Well, these OPK's were expired.  Like WAY expired.  Like 2009 expired.  I found them when we moved, they were from back when we were trying to conceive our first, before we knew the score, before we knew we needed IVF with ICSI.  And 2 beautiful lines showed up.  Whoa.  But hey, it's SO expired, and they came up kinda fast, so I'm totally not buying it.

Yesterday we were at Target and I got a wave of nausea.  Like I thought I was gonna toss my cookies.  It hung around for a few minutes and went away.  Of course I told K about it.  I asked him about testing, he didn't want to.  He said it was like a kid on Christmas morning, but Christmas isn't until Friday (day of my beta blood test).  I told him that Christmas was really this weekend.  He didn't agree.

We went out last night with S, you may remember her as she is one of the other mommas that I donated my frozen breast milk to.  Her daughter is now 17 months, and she and her husband were in town (without their 4 kids) for a conference.  So Nana babysat and we went out.  Late.  We didn't get home until after 1:00.  I was the DD and the other 3 had some drinks.  It was a lot of fun!

Bug woke me up a little earlier than normal today.  I let K sleep as he had a bit to drink and had to work today.  I lay in bed listening to Bug chattering in her crib for about 20 minutes.

Then I couldn't take it anymore, because I KNEW.  Just like I knew our first IVF failed.  I KNEW.  So I did it.  I took a test.  I'm 10dp3dt (10 days past 3 day transfer).  On the early side but not too early.  I tried hard not to stare at the stick.  But there it showed up.  A bit light still, but it's there. The picture below is hard to see it in.  But it's there.  Positive.  POSITIVE!  I'm pregnant!!

I climbed on the bed and whispered in K's ear that he could be mad at me if he wanted.  He was all like 'what?' in his sleep.  So I told him he was gonna be a daddy again, that I'm pregnant, and I proceeded to cry.  He smiled so big.

OMG, I'm pregnant.  I can't seem to stop saying it over and over.  To think it over and over.  To just touch my tummy and know what is going on.  I can't quite wrap my brain around it yet.  I'm amazed, happier than words can say.  I keep thanking God.  The fear creeps in just a little that it won't last, but really, very little can stop the way I am feeling right now.

Thank you all for your support!  It's been amazing.  I can't wait to keep you all up on the continuing saga!