Indy 500

So, the Indy 500 was yesterday.  Now, I'm not much of a race fan, but some year when Bug is a little older, and K actually gets to be home again, we are going to go. 

With that being said, we had our annual 'Atapco 500' at our work.  The management company puts it on, and they own a few buildings in a small area, so everyone gets to come.  It happens to be at our building specifically, which is really nice.  But, there is a cook out, we race adult sized tricycle's, and door prizes.  The winners receive free tickets to the Indy 500.  Sweet.

Last year I couldn't race because I was hugely preggo.  This year, I joined an otherwise all male team.  It's relay style, and a TON of fun. 

So, because I'm on my normal computer, and have a minute while bug is playing, I wanted you to enjoy some pics :-)

Yep, that's me, in the black.  Probably the only adult ever that can fit that tricycle like it was made for me!  Needless to say, we didn't win.  I kept in front of the woman behind me, but the last two racers didn't fare as well.  That's OK, it was a blast!!  Plus, I won a door prize, a GC to Macaroni Grill ~ so K and I can have a date night!!

Our team:


And just because you all deserve to see the cuteness that is my Bug, wearing a pair of her daddy's ears:


Last, enjoying our hike last weekend in Nashville..... Indiana.  We had a blast, but forgot the carrier.  Being that it was an hour and a half away, we decided to just take turns carrying bug.  Here's what we got for our troubles:



It was hard work for Bug, she got a little tired on the trail:

Chilling on the teeter totter:

And, so that you can officially meet us:

Hi, I'm K and this is Bug:

Hi, I'm Emms, and this is Bug:

Breastfeeding, Crawling, and everything in between

10 months.  I'm so proud that we've made it this far!  I struggled so much in the beginning, as I'm sure most BF'ing mama's can relate to.  I remember one night when Bug wasn't even a week old yet.  She was hungry, and crying.  She couldn't hardly stay awake to latch (jaundice).  I was engorged and sore.  I was crying.  K looked at me and told me that it was OK if I wanted to stop.  He would understand and not think less of me if I did.  All that did?

It reinforced that I would make it through.  And we did.  Breastfeeding now for 10 months.  We have dealt with thrush (numerous times), clogged ducts (a few times), engorgement, nipple bruising, and just plain tenderness.  We have been lucky to not deal with some of the worst things that mama's deal with.  I am thankful for that.

So at this beautiful 10 month mark, only 2 months away from my third goal (first was just doing it, second was 6 months), I reflect on the beauty of this relationship.  I reflect on the love of this relationship.  And I reflect on the sometimes absurdity on this relationship.

Every night when I get Bug ready for bed, I will have her sitting up while I start to get her dressed, and she'll bury her head in my cleavage.  I think she sometimes is in there motor boating!  She will THROW her head into my chest, to the point where you can hear the THUNK.  Wow, I think she likes to breastfeed.

This morning I couldn't help but laugh.  We had already nursed for the day, and I had just finished pumping her fresh bottles for daycare.  I hadn't gotten the girls put away and she had crawled over to me (oh yeah, that's new too.... more about that later), climbed into my lap, and latched on.  Mind you, it had only been about 20 minutes since she fully nursed, and well, there wasn't anything in there.  But, she thought she'd give it the old college try. So she would stop nursing, look up at me expectantly, smile, and latch back on.  All I could do was laugh. 

Oh yes, weaning should be SO much fun!!

I have given up telling stories like these to my coworkers (yes, we are an open group), because they keep harassing me to 'get her off the boob.'  Sorry people, that may have been right for you, but it's not for me.  A-breastfeeding we shall remain.

Crawling: So, she's been taking a few crawling 'steps' over the last handful of days, but then she will stop, sit back on her butt, and look around like 'what the heck was that?'  It's quite amusing if I do say so myself.  So on Wednesday I went to DC to nurse her at lunch and they said that was what she was doing there too.  K picked her up at the end of the day and she crawled across the room to get to him!  Apparently she had been moving all over the room all afternoon.

Humph.

So, I went out to dinner with my boss that night and therefore didn't get to see it.  Yesterday when I went to nurse her at lunch she just laid there and waited for me to pick her up.  So I said to her 'what, you'll crawl for dada but not mama?'  Then when K picked her up yesterday afternoon, she crawled across the room to him again.

Humph.

This is all on the tail of her babble finally turning into 'talking,' and of course, that includes a lot of dadadadadada and absolutely NO mamamama.

I see where this is going.  Freud is at work in her head.  She's already learning to love and want to marry her dada.  I thought that was supposed to wait until she was at least a little older?!

I'm in trouble.  She's already chasing one of the boys at DC around during the day to give him open mouth kisses.  OH boy.

Tooth number 2 is SO close, and thank God, because I could really really use some sleep.  Like, a lot of it.  I get goofy when I'm really tired, and suffice it to say, K has suggested I get coffee before work on a number of occasions this week, due to my extreme level of goofiness.  He's been getting serenaded at 7 in the morning with songs like the Bear Song (come on, you know you know it... the other day, I met a bear, up in the woods, oh way up there.....)

Ha, now you can have it stuck in your head too.  You're welcome.

~Emms

TEETH!!!

I'm amazed at how quickly this whole teething process seems to be going for us. Well, that's relative since we've had 6 weeks of not great sleep. But that not great sleep for the majority of that 6 weeks was adding in one MOTN wake up. Every few days it would be adding two. Sometimes I could get her back down without even picking her up, sometimes I would have to nurse her. It just depended.

So, as I posted on Monday, I really felt the sharpness of a tooth on Sunday, but It wasn't quite through the gums. Well, by Tuesday it was through. She's so darn cute when she smiles and has just that bit of tooth sticking out!! I now am pretty sure I'm feeling nub number two.

So, this morning, I'm getting ready for work and K is sitting on the bed holding bug and they're playing. It's super cute, but I'm half asleep and only half paying attention. Out of nowhere I hear "Ouch, you bit my nose! Why did you bite my nose? I don't think I like you having teeth!" I laughed so hard, especially when I looked over and there was K, pouting at Bug. Bug? She's got this big ol' smile on her face like she was the Queen of England.  Really, she was the Queen of K, since she had him pinned underneath her and obviously had him at her will with her biting and cuteness.

Now, so long as she keeps that to noses and leaves my poor nipples alone, I'll be happy!

I've been trying to get her to eat finger foods, and it has been amazingly unsuccessful. Well, she loves green beans, and we had some fresh ones with dinner the other night. So, I gave her some and she wouldn't put them in her mouth herself, but she would open her mouth for them. Swallowing? Well, that's debatable. Some of the pieces I found in her lap, some in her bib, and some went missing. Did she actually eat them I wonder? Or did the dog find them on the floor? I was eyeing B (the dog) suspiciously, trying to figure out who may have swallowed them. B just sat there, all pretty like, panting and staring at me. Bug just gave me grins. Mostly gummy, somewhat toothy, adorable innocent little grins. Then she stuck her hand in her mouth.

I'm still not sure who ate them. I hope it was Bug, cause they were really really good.

Tonight's dinner? Asparagus with hollandaise sauce, radishes and baked beets. We'll see if she'll eat any of the beets. Wish me luck!!

Teething

So, Bug's been sleeping pretty crappy for the last 6 weeks. First, she had an ear infection, so I attributed it to that. Poor kiddo. Then I couldn't figure out what it was. When I could get her tongue out of the way (I swear it doesn't fit in her mouth LOL), her gums weren't red or swollen. BUT, about a week and a half ago I finally felt the nub of a tooth. Well, the last few nights have been really bad, so yesterday I felt the razor sharpness of a tooth! Here's to hoping she's not a biter and my poor boobs can stay in one piece :-)

The cute gummy grin is going away to be replaced by an adorable toothy grin! Yeah for teeth, boo for crankiness LOL.

Needless to say, I've always been worried about using oragel. I'm afraid that she'll spit up (since she's a reflux baby) and I'll use to much and numb her gag reflex and it'll be disasterous. Well, after too many nights of no sleep, and a very cranky baby in the MOTN last night, I gave in and used it. Wow, oh the relief (and not just for her!!!) K was even being really good and trying to let me sleep since I had to work today, but that's pretty hard in a small apartment with a crying baby. I couldn't go back to sleep with that. Ah my poor sweetie.

We get to go sign the lease today on the new house, I'm SO excited.

On another note - AF still hasn't come. I spotted Friday, Saturday and a little bit on Sunday morning, but not any since. K doesn't really think anything of it, and I've never been a POAS'er, but I have to be honest... if she doesn't come full force by the time he leaves again around the first of the month, I might just have to give in... just in case LOL. I know that it's probably just my body working up to it, but it's all about the hoping LOL.

It's not wrong to wish, right?

OK, so I haven't had my first PPAF yet. That means I've been AF free since Oct 2009. I'm not complaining, I haven't missed it one bit :-)

I knew that I would have no idea when to expect it. I'm still BFing, but now that Bug is almost 10 months old, there's a lot of solids mixed in there.

So, this morning I woke up to some bright red in my underwear. Wow, haven't seen that in like, forever. I've heard all these horror stories about the first PPAF, but leading up to today I had no indication at all that she was coming. Which is really strange, because I tend to have a lot of symptoms: sore boobs, insane cramps, backache, headache, you name it. So, I kinda shrug my shoulders and think to myself that maybe things are changing since I've had the kiddo, and my periods won't be as symptomatic.

Then my infertile brain starts doing the dance. We're getting ready to start the process of finding a new RE, and getting into treatments again, here in the next couple of months or so. So, it dances around, what if... what if this could be implantation bleeding, after all, K and I had a lot of fun last weekend while Nana watched Bug for us (happy mothers day to me!!). So, the timing would be right... hmmmm.... maybe, just maybe I hit that 1% chance of K getting me pregnant... not to mention the fact that it's probably lower since that would mean we caught my first ovulation after having Bug. Ha ha ha. We're not even trying yet (and our trying isn't typical at all!) and here my brain starts hoping.

So, I know it's AF coming, I really do, but hey, you can't stop an infertile from hoping can you. Otherwise, what would we spend our time doing?

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to a 4 hour drive on Sat, and back on Sun, with my first PPAF. That could really suck. So, maybe I'll just keep hoping ;o

~Emms

A big Thank You!

I just want to send out a big Thank You to a fellow blogger, and follower of mine, over at

http://counterfeitfake.blogspot.com/

First, I want to say that I love this blogger. I have been following her for a while (in my world anyways, so almost as long as I've been blogging), and I can always depend on her for a good laugh. I just really love her blog.

She's been following me for a bit too, and she is great and is constantly commenting, makes me glad to know that someone is reading LOL.

Well, to the main reason for the post! She commented on my post from yesterday, and I just had to share. My post was about milk sharing again through Eats on Feets, and here is her comment:

~~~Hey, because of your post about Eats on Feets, I was able to pass info along to someone on Facebook yesterday. Now some mama in Indiana will have more milk to give her little one. Thought you might like to know. ~~~

This makes me so happy. This is the point of Eats on Feets, to hook up mama's that have extra milk with those that need it. It is such an amazing thing, watching relationships build because of these gestures of kindness. To know that something as simple as my posts on my blog about sharing helped to familiarize someone with EOF, and that person was able to spread the word. In turn, another baby gets this liquid gold!!

These are not small gestures, babies on the receiving end are able to get what their mama feels is best for them, they are able to get off of formula which is sometimes causing them problems - gastro, reflux, exczema, you name it.

Mama's on the giving end are taking the time out of their day to pump this liquid gold, and then are willing to give it away. Let me tell you, the time commitments are not small. I pump right now 3 to 4 times a day, and between pumping, cleaning up, and packing alone I think I spend an hour and a half or more every day. Then every few weeks I take another 30 or so minutes to rotate the milk so that the oldest is either what I use or donate to another mama. For me, I would be doing it anyways. I would be buying the bags for storage. I would be taking the time to pump. For someone like me with such a great supply, I don't have to cry as I am throwing overage away. Instead I outreach to my mama's. If they are not in need I go back to the EOF facebook page and find myself a new mama. It is an amazing page, please go check it out if you have not already.

I'm not here to give myself kudos, but really to remind everyone of Eats on Feets. To mention it to your nursing mama friends, or those that are talking about problems with their supply. This is a kudos to all those mama's out there that are giving, and all those mama's out there that are receiving.

I will stop pumping when Bug is 12 months. In many ways this makes me sad, as it will end this portion of my relationship with these mama's that I have come to know. The good thing is that these relationships have taken on a life of their own. We are friends now, the mama that is in my same city and I have dinner together, let our little girls play together. We enjoy each others company.

Thank you to Eats on Feets. Thank you for starting up just when I was realizing I needed to do something with all my extra milk. Thank you to those mama's that are willing to give away this liquid gold to a baby in need. Thank you to those mama's that are more than happy to take that liquid gold off of our hands and feed it to their precious, deserving babies.

Thank you Shan, for reading my blog and sharing what you have learned.

(PS - as I've mentioned before in my posts about milk sharing, I am NOT saying that formula feeding is bad, if that is what is right for you and your baby, then I am 100% behind you! This is just what is right for me, for Bug, and for those babies out there that I am able to help feed)

Milk

So, the other week I gave my number one mama some more milk. My freezer has two parts, the main part, and then a drawer on the bottom. When I move my milk around I always put the oldest in the drawer (and some in the regular freezer) and use that first. Well, when I got this mama some milk, I must not have fully closed the drawer all the way.

Almost two weeks later I realized it, and of course, had to throw all the milk in the drawer away as it had started to thaw. It made me so sad.

The reason that it is crossing my mind again is because my second milk mama sent me a message to see if I would have any to give her in a couple of weeks. It saddens me that neither of my mama's got to use this bit of gold, instead I had to throw it away.

Luckily, the drawer was the smaller part, so while it was a lot, it didn't deplete my stash too much. In fact, I think that in a couple of weeks I should even be able to give her a hundred ounces, not as much as in the past, but anything I can give this little girl, the better.

On another note - I love heat, I love summer. BUT, I would rather be weaned into it. not jumping to this high 80's with crazy humidity. I mean really, my car read 95 degrees when I got in it after work yesterday! And the A/C at my office is deciding not to work right... the rest of the office is fine, but a couple of our offices inside of it are HOT HOT HOT.

Happy Hump Day everyone!!
~Emms

home!

Well, I just got our call. We got the rental house that we wanted! I am so excited! The owners even agreed to reduce rent a little for us to sign a 2 year lease. We move at the end of June, and if I ever figure out how to put pictures inside my posts I will show you the new place!

Yeah!!!

Wish me luck!

So, I think I found a house for us to rent. It's beautiful, and has just about everything we were hoping to find.

It's about $100 more expensive then we wanted to go, but so long as we get our house back home rented out, it will be OK. I turned in our application and app fee today. We should find out the beginning of the week if we got it or not.

I'm not excited to move, but I'm super excited to get out of an apartment and back into a house! I don't even care that I'll have to take care of the lawn when K isn't around, it's not too big, and I can totally make it happen!!

Emms

Smiles

So, as I feel like I've had a few whining posts lately, I am going to leave you today with some things that make me smile.

Bugs hugs. She loves giving them and I love getting them. She will reach around you and pull you in close. It is so sweet.

K. His love for me surpasses anything I have ever felt before. He makes me whole. Without him I would be in a bad way.

My mom. She is my rock. I love that I can call her when I am having a tough day and she can help me feel better.

Camping. I am so excited for some long weekends this summer!

My dog, B. She drives me crazy, and is tough to care for when K isn't here. But she was our first baby and is so darn sweet.

My best friend C. She keeps me grounded. She can tell me when I am being a bitch and it's ok. We've been friends for 19 or so years. she is amazing. We have our own lives but can always pick right back up, even from 4 hours away.

My job and my employees. Seems strange, but it is a lot of fun along with the stress. I work in a small satellite office, and we all get along. No drama. It's awesome.

Hot baths. Need I say more.

Massages. It's about time for me to use my gift card for one.

A nice glass of red wine (a medoc tonight) and a little good dark chocolate.

Infertility treatments. Without them we wouldn't have the possibility to give K a biological child.

Love. Support. Understanding. From my friends and family. Thank you all!

Emms