Here goes nothing!

I know I've been a bit of a slacker... it's been hard to blog because I used to do it at work (I know, bad Emms).  But they locked down our filters tighter and I can no longer post from work.  So I have to try to squeeze it in between when Bug goes to bed and when we do, but of course there's other things to be done during that time.

It's been a month since we weaned.  We are doing good, and this week bug slept through the night. Every. Single. Night.  I'm amazed, speechless, and for the first time since early in pregnancy, somewhat well rested!

Last week I had my HSG.  All was clear and beautiful.  Wasn't too painful at all.

This Tuesday K and I had our first counseling appointment.  We agreed to do it while going through fertility treatments, and I'm glad.  It went well, and I think it will help keep the lines of communication open during this trying time.

Today I had my yearly with a new ob/gyn since moving.  I liked her, although not quite as much as the one that took care of me while pregnant.  I think it's for that reason- she cared for me during pregnancy, which was such an extra special time!

Then I came home to receive the shipment of our meds.  Lupron, Follistim, Estrogen patches, doxycycline, Medrol, Novaril, tylenol with Codeine and masses of syringes.  It's real now.  Monday morning at 7:00am I go in for blood work to verify that I ovulated.  I'm POSITIVE that I did.  I don't normally feel ovulation, but after dealing with primary infertility, I know the signs.  I have heard that after an HSG a woman is very fertile, and I see why.  This month my signs were multiplied (egg white CM en masse) and I actually felt myself ovulating.

So, when Monday's bloodwork shows that I ovulated, they will call me.  I will then begin the injections.  Lupron starts Monday and will be it until I get my next AF, which should be at the end of the month.  Then a baseline ultrasound to make sure that all looks good in there.

I'm excited to get this show on the road.  I look forward to trying to make another baby, one with K's features as well as my own.

I'm nervous.  It's a lot of emotions and finances in this.

I'm scared to death.  What if it doesn't work?  We've failed before.  We've agreed one try at IVF, what if we don't get any totsicles and the one try fails?  I want this so bad I can taste it.  But I'm breathing deep and trying to stay grounded.  I will do my best to take any blows that come our way in stride, to not let my jacked up hormonal emotions go off the deep end.

I will remain positive.

This will work.