Sweet Bug

Potty training continues to go pretty well.  She has less and less pee accidents.

Poop though, that's a different story.

At first I thought she just didn't want to poop in the potty.  Then it seemed as though she was maybe struggling with constipation.

This weekend I realized I don't think any of that was true all along.

Her poor little butt hurts.  I think she's trying to NOT poop.

We've struggled with diaper rash type issues for a while.  We've tried all different kinds of things.  In the last 6 months I've mentioned it to my 'new' pediatrician who pretty much blew me off.  'Just put her in a sitz bath' was what her answer was each time I mentioned it.

I mean come on, one time the visit was for Goose and I made her look at Bug's butt.

I started to think I was crazy.

Then I was talking to a couple of mom's at work with young kids.

They reminded me to TRUST MY GUT.  That if I thought something was wrong it probably was.

So let me back up a step.  Not long after Goose was born their pediatrician was noticeably pregnant.  She went on maternity leave and never returned.  We all LOVED her.

So we had a locum tenon for a while, basically a fill in.  She was a really sweet older woman who was retired, but filled in when needed for the system that our peds are in.  We really liked her too.

Right before Goose turned a year we 'got' our 'new' pediatrician.  During the wait I had asked to change peds within the practice and they said no.

Should have known at that point.  But I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So we met her for the first time at Goose's 12 month check up.  I don't even remember what it was exactly that she said, but when I advised I was still nursing and wasn't in a hurry to stop, she made some comment that I didn't appreciate.  Whatever.  I let it go and decided to give her a couple chances before I made my judgement.  Especially since for most sick visits I did see other docs in the practice.

Well, in the last 6 months we've seen her multiple times between the kids.

My mom put it best during a visit that she went with to help out (both kids going).  She said the ped was clinical.

Yep, she's right.  At Bug's 4 year check up and Goose's 18 month I realized just how right my mom was.  She didn't try to get the kids happy, she didn't try to win their attention, affection, or love.  She was clinical and the kids cried The. Entire. Time.  All she was interested in doing was forcing Bug to let her see her ears, or Goose to see his teeth.  You get the point.

So after those visits I knew I was done.  And yes, I brought up her diaper area during that appointment too.

Then the conversation with the other mom's.  I. Am. Done.

I delayed the change a little because I knew I needed to get her 4 year shots, and we were changing daycares so I needed them to fill out the medical forms.

Today I had to take her in for her 4 year shots as we couldn't get them at her appointment.  I knew going into it that this was the last appointment.  I already have the name of a new ped that a friend took her daughter to, and her daughter has had some similar issues to Bug.  She loves this ped, says she takes lots of time with them, etc.  So, at today's appointment I told the chick at the front desk that Bug is to the point of holding her poo, crying in pain when she goes, etc and could one of the docs, ANY of the docs stop in for a minute to check it out?

Nope.  The answer was No.

I came home frustrated.  Then for the rest of the evening I had to spend comforting my little girl as she howled in pain while trying to NOT let her body poop as her body NEEDED to poop.  Arching her back, locking her knee's, face turning beet red, teeth clenched, butt clenched.  Then it got worse because she got something out twice and I had to hold her down each time to wipe her and put something on her butt in hopes it will help.  Because she doesn't want it cleaned up, which makes things worse, so much worse.

Seriously, it's gotten so bad that there's ALWAYS a streak in her diaper.  When she goes it's a small little bit (and no, it's not hard, it's nice and soft).  So she goes CONSTANTLY.  Like I'd guess maybe 10 or more times a day.  If I bought new underwear every week I'd spend at least $30 a week on underwear.  Instead, every evening I wash poo out of underwear while I cry silent tears of worry for my daughter.

So that's it.  I'm done.  I don't know why I tried to give the benefit of the doubt when this is MY CHILD.  My little girl, my first so she's my learning curve.

Tomorrow I call the new doc.  Tomorrow I start the process of finding someone who will listen to me that something is NOT right.