Saturday, February 25, 2012

will i regret it?

I try to live by the adage that I will regret more what I don't do than what I do.

Tonight I didn't nurse bug. When I did last night it was so precious, so bittersweet. It was the last time. Possibly ever. That's hard. I hope to God these next few days are easy. I hope to God I don't regret this decision.

Today I will say it. I hate infertility and the choices it forces me to make. Today I am trying my best not to let it drag me down. Today I take deep breathes and allow myself to feel that hatred.

Tomorrow I can move on. But I will allow myself this tonight.


  1. Oh, friend. You're breaking my heart. Infertility is such a bitch!!!!!!!!! Sending you peaceful thoughts.

  2. I have said before and will say again, you are such a good mama to Bug. (But it sure sucks being the grown up sometimes, doesn't it?)

    Much love.

  3. I have tears in my eyes reading this post as I am still nursing our 16 month old daughter as we are gearing up to face the IF witch for TTC #2... Much luck at the cycle ahead!