I try to live by the adage that I will regret more what I don't do than what I do.
Tonight I didn't nurse bug. When I did last night it was so precious, so bittersweet. It was the last time. Possibly ever. That's hard. I hope to God these next few days are easy. I hope to God I don't regret this decision.
Today I will say it. I hate infertility and the choices it forces me to make. Today I am trying my best not to let it drag me down. Today I take deep breathes and allow myself to feel that hatred.
Tomorrow I can move on. But I will allow myself this tonight.