Some of you may remember one of my first posts back last year about a dear friend who lost her beautiful son to SIDS at a mere 1 month 1 day old. I was heartbroken for her, and while I could never understand exactly what she is going through, I understand the loss of the dream when it comes to kids. I never got to meet the babies I lost, and that changes things so much in regards to what you are dealing with.
If you didn't read the post, and would like to, here it is:
Since this post I have continued to keep in sporadic contact with H. She was fighting her demons and I always wanted to make sure she knew I was there, but never wanted to push it. Especially knowing that I have something that she should also have. At this point she may even read this blog as I follow hers (she's the only IRL person that even knows how to find my blog!), I don't know if she ever does. If so I hope she realizes how much I care for her and think about her.
She had sent me a message a few weeks back and let me know that they finally got the coroners report back. They were meeting with their ob/gyn and their pediatrician to get some answers. At the time she wasn't ready, or able, to tell me what it said. What she did let me know was that it was not SIDS.
I have prayed for her almost every day in some way, shape or form since this terrible tragedy 7 months ago. 7 months. That's almost half of the lifetime that she got to spend with him, only 1 short month outside of the womb. I imagine that everyday of these past 7 months have been difficult for her. That going on with her life when she probably did not want to at times was taxing. Draining.
She finally let me know the cause of death. I'm not sure it's my place to even say it in this blog, so I won't at this time. Maybe later. It brings tears to my eyes even remembering the hurt and sorrow I could read in her email.
Now onto the Wow part of this blog. There is a good reason that I am dredging up this horrific past. She sent me another email today.
She's pregnant! Her perfect little Rainbow Baby is on his/her way! Oh the joys of a Rainbow baby, I know as Bug is one. H is due 11/26, so she's not very far along yet. I will now add to my prayer for her to not only help her to live on with her son's memory filling her with happiness, but now also that she will have a healthy and happy 40 weeks (probably 34 or 35 more at this point), and that the first month, which I'm sure will be the hardest, will pass by without incident. That H and her husband will be blessed with another little baby that will help to fill their hearts. That will help to make the hole that will always remain in their hearts a little less painful. I will pray that God has taken their first home to him simply to help watch over their baby #2.
I will go see them as soon as this little one is born. I will not make the same mistake the second time around.