I don't know where to begin!!
So, right after we found out that K was going to get furloughed, we talked about me going back for my masters. I've been wanting to do it for a while, and was getting ready to when I found out I was pregnant. The time hasn't really been right since then, with Bug being so young and K being gone so much. The timing was perfect now, because right about the time we were finding out of K's impending furlough, the other manager in the office (with less experience then me) got promoted to director and is now my boss. (I wasn't even given an opportunity to try for this job, and I just had to teach him to interview for an open position!!!). The next day a competitor to my company called and wanted to talk about a job, but while it was more money, it was going to be a lateral move.
So, I thanked the competitor and told them to keep me in mind, but for now I was not looking for a lateral move. This was a tough decision to make, but I think it's for the best right now.
Then today, I signed up to take a test prep course through Kaplan for my GMAT. I'd like to have already taken it and been applying to meet that Oct 1 deadline that most schools have for their first round, but I didn't want to wait another year. So, the class will end on Oct 5 and I'll try to take the GMAT soon after that, then apply for grad school. I'm super excited, but so nervous. I've been out for 5 years now (after it took 8 years to work through my associates and undergrad), but I've wanted to go back since I left.
So, where does this fall in with TTC? Good question. We are still going to our first initial consults next week. I'm excited and nervous, but K and I had a discussion that anything we could do to continue moving forward with our lives during the TTC process, well, we would do them. I know that school will be tough with going through IVF and a young one at home, but hey, I tend to work best under lots of pressure and stress!
Beyond that, work helps pay for school. I'll still have to take student loans too, but it's a lot of help. IVF will be out of our pocket, and even though we're meeting with docs next week, I don't think we'll be able to start a cycle for a few months with K's future uncertain right now. (we still haven't gotten notice of his furlough, ugh). So, we can't justify cleaning out savings right now for IVF if he is going to be out of a job - we'll need that money to pay bills. (having the house back home that we rent out doesn't help, unfortunately we collect less than what our mortgage is). Especially as we are not sure how much he'll get from unemployment, and then how much he'll make in a new job. If we knew it was going to be another year, then I would do it and not worry about it.
We've been working on this sleep training, and to be honest, she sleeps better when K goes in then when I do. If I do, she just wants to nurse, and will scream if we don't, which just wakes her up all the way. The last 2 nights K took care of her at night, and she slept until 6:30. Last night it was all me, and she was up at 5. Go figure.
On a last note, and in line with a lot of my other posts lately, but backing up a bit.... I was on my way home today and listening to the soundtrack from City of Angels (good soundtrack, great tear filled movie for me). The Alanis Morrisette song came on, and it reminded me of the year that K and I met, and how hard I tried to scare him off. Then I saw a go fast bike going down the road, with a guy on it with a similar build to K, and it really got me going. I remember the first time I saw K on his go fast bike. It's the same one he still has today, so it's about 13 years old by now. But, it was before they banned Smoking Joe from advertising for Camel Cigarette's. Remember him? Well, every year for just a few years Honda made a go fast bike with Smoking Joe on it. While this one isn't his, here's what it looks like:
Anyways, the first time I saw him on it was amazing. I got so turned on, being young (only 19) and naive. He was hot, the bike was hot, and he had a lot of fun on it (not as stupid as some, but he enjoyed the speed for sure). The first time I got on it with him I was in love. Holding tight to him, feeling the power between our legs... wow, it was so amazing.
I haven't been on that bike in years. He probably has only been on it a few times in the last couple of years, and doesn't drive it near as crazy. But man, I suddenly want to see him on it again, when Bug isn't home, and then enjoy some adult time :-)