Friday, April 11, 2014
It really CAN be fun
Goose is a 15 months old now. He hasn’t cut any new teeth in about a month, but has had a cold during that time. So his sleep has been a bit better. Still waking up, but for the most part not a million times a night. So I’m officially almost 2 years out from the stress of going through our last IVF cycle. I’m officially 8 years out from when we first started trying to get pregnant. And through the miracles of science (and other stuff) we have our 2 beautiful miracles. And in the last few months as sleep has gotten better and we’ve all felt more human, I’ve found something that I’ve been missing now for over ½ of my marriage. This is not the fault of people, but rather of circumstances. Sex. No, Making Love. And as it turns out, it really can be fun. It can be meaningful, and sexy, and (somewhat) spontaneous. It can be devoid of worry and full of smiles and enjoyment of the moment. It is, officially, truly and really, no longer baby making sex. No longer ‘we hope it will happen so that we don’t have to do IVF for number 2.’ No longer scheduled out based on when ovulation is happening, JUST IN CASE. It’s more like when when we first got married. No, we are not in those stages of tearing each other’s clothes off any chance we get (because trust me, with Bug and Goose the opportunities aren’t coming out of our ears), but it’s that ‘whenever we have the chance and one/both of us isn’t so overtired that we wouldn’t enjoy.’ It doesn’t matter if it’s on Sunday, or Tuesday, or Thursday or any day in between. It doesn’t matter if I’m getting ready to ovulate or not. It doesn’t matter if we were getting ready to walk out the door and the kids are behaving and playing in the other room (oops, did I just say that?). It doesn’t matter, well anything. It just DOESN’T MATTER. If the mood strikes we take it and run with it. And it’s FUN. Did you hear that folks? It’s actually FUN! After 8 long years of turning something fun into not so much fun we have found the fun again. We have found each other again. We are reminded that we are attracted to each other and can have fun with that attraction. Have I mentioned FUN enough in this post for you? Do you think I may be trying to get a point across? After we got pregnant with Goose it did get a lot better, but there was still the exhaustion of a non sleeping kid involved, so while it no longer had the same stigma on it, there was still something about it that was different. That. Is. All. Gone. It’s FUN, Every. Single. Time. I enjoy him and he enjoys me. 12 years of marriage. 7 years full of TTC and then 1 year of sleep deprivation after the last kid came. More than ½ of our marriage had this stigma in some way or another. And I always feared during all those years that we’d never get back to what we had, that we’d never view intimacy the same, that it would never be as wonderful as it was when we were blissfully unaware. I feared we had lost something so magical, and that magic doesn’t just come back into our lives no matter how hard we wish it to – because believe me, during all those stressful, hellish years, I wished for that magic back. And now I know that I was wrong during that time, that I was wrong that the magic would be lost forever. Because folks, We got it back. And you know what??? NOW, it's better than EVER!!