OK, so I'm kinda new to this being a pilots wife thing. We've been together for over 11 years, but he was an A&P Mechanic first, which means that he worked on the planes he now flies. The pilot thing has been within the last year and 1/2 or so. So, add a new baby into that. Not making excuses, just setting up some background.
So, there's a blogger that I follow that is also a pilots wife, and she recently wrote a blog about why their relationship works. You can read it here:
I read it the other day and went 'oh yeah, that all makes SO much sense. I'm really glad she wrote this.' The one that hit home the most was this one:
Don't be a whiny bitch all the time.
Basically it tells you to find a good friend to whine to, don't do it to your husband all the time because he wants to be home as much as you want him to be home, but there's nothing he can do about it. It's worse if he's on reserve (which is where they pretty much just sit in some city waiting to see if they are needed to fly).
OK, so why did this hit home? Well, because I can be whiny. There, I admitted it. I can be a whiny bitch sometimes. I try not to, I really do, but when I'm having a tough time all I want to do is whine about it for a little while before I move on. Yep, that's me.
So, with that being said....
Yesterday was my birthday. K wasn't here for it last year either, and last year was the big 3-0. For some reason I was OK with it. Maybe because I was pretty darn pregnant, and my staff took me out to dinner and a movie, and it was a really nice, very laid back time. Well, yesterday was different. I got a TON of birthday wishes, which made me smile huge. But only one of my staff even remembered, so there was no suggestions to do anything with me. K wasn't here. My mom called at the end of my work day and let me know that she wasn't going to come this weekend because she is on jury duty and made it to a jury. (she lives 5 1/2 hours away, so it's not real feasible to drive out Sat morn and home Sun). So, that makes our car shopping plans a little tougher. It also makes our dinner date plans a little tougher.
A light in my car is on. I forgot my syrup at work and all I wanted for dinner was waffles, but not without syrup.
Then, to my complete and utter horror, Bug fell off the bed. She more rolled off the bed, and finished the roll on the floor. It ended with us both in tears.
5 mins later K called. I took deep breaths, remembered the post from this fellow pilots wife, and calmed down. The conversation went something like this.
K: How's it going?
Me: It's been a tough night. Bug just fell off the bed. (I couldn't NOT tell him that!)
K: Oh my God, is she OK?
Me: Yes, I think so, she is playing and kicking her legs.
K: Good. Did she cry?
K: Did you cry?
Me: Sure did.
K: I'm sorry babe, I'm sure she'll be OK.
There was some more back and forth on this, then:
K: Well, how was the rest of your day?
Me: It was good!
I am SO proud of myself. He did specifically ask about my staff remembering, so I told him that they didn't but that it was OK. Actually, we proceeded to joke about whatever happened to kissing the boss' butt.
Know what? It felt good to not be a whiny bitch. It felt good to let him know that bad thing that had happened with Bug, but to deal with the rest of the crap on my own. Know something else? After Bug went to bed (I usually eat with her), I enjoyed my bowl of honey nut cheerios as my birthday dinner. And it was great. We'll maybe cook out on Saturday for my Birthday, and I'll test drive the cars and he'll only test drive the one's I'm most interested in. The light in my car? Tire pressure. No biggie, I'll handle.
I'm glad that someone else could put it into perspective for me. I'll moan in my head for a minute and move on. It's not so bad, especially when I've got Bug cuddling me.
Edited to add - K called right after I posted this (but I was on my way to look at a rental house) and let me know that he was released and at the airport to come home! Woo Hoo!