So, I've written all about our failed IVF treatments. I've told you how they affected us while we were going through them. I have not yet told you about the aftershocks. They rippled through our entire lives, and affected us in countless ways.
First off, we agreed to jump right back on the bandwagon. We were going to try IVF again in October 2008. But then the fighting started. The harsh words. The blame. The avoidance of each other. The drinking to forget (for me). Our relationship went downhill, and it went so fast that no one even realized how bad it had gotten until we hit rock bottom.
Rock bottom started on the day that we started sleeping in different bedrooms. Then K moved out and in with his mom. We talked less and less, and when we did, it was always fighting. I remember the day my boss put an offer on the table for me to move for work. I told him No, but then when I told K about it he freaked and thought I said yes. We screamed at each other over the phone for my entire 2 hour drive home. That was the night that we started sleeping in different rooms. He moved out right before Thanksgiving, but we still hosted a family dinner. It was the absolute pit of Hell for both of us, and ended with me locking myself in my bedroom bawling.
We started to live our own lives. We starting talking about divorce. We couldn't look at each other. But he did tell me that I would have to file, that he never would.
I finally went back to my boss and told him I was interested in what he could do for me to move, 4 hours away. I needed out. A week later, he offered me a moving package that I couldn't refuse. I told K. He was upset, but took it in stride. Looking back now, that move was the best thing for us at the time. We were so angry with one another.
With the decision of divorce, we both started dating other people. I moved. He went back to school. We both lived the single life, and for a time, loved it. We still had to talk because we owned our house back home. I had started going to church before I moved, but now I started RCIA classes and decided to be baptized catholic. We spent a lot of time talking about the rite of marriage and it hurt to know that I was throwing that rite away. I started realizing how much I missed K, the him before we dealt with infertility. The me before we dealt with infertility. I was afraid to admit that to him, or even really myself. I continued to date, so did he. I got counseling, and slowly came to grips with the tragedy I had endured, with the loss of my babies, and inadvertantly, with the loss of my love, my husband.
Slowly, the talks became less fighting and more talking. We became friends again. We even had some talks about the people we were dating. The more we talked, the more we talked, if that makes sense. I started finding myself checking my phone to see if I had texts from him, even when I was with the guy I was dating. That became my sign. I knew what I had thrown away. K had always said I would have to file for divorce, but I could never bring myself to do it. But I didn't think he'd have me back. Not after what I had done.
I ended things with the guy I was seeing. K and I started talking more. I was so afraid to let him know how I felt. He was no longer dating anyone either. He said it though, he was stronger than I was, 'Let's try this again.' I was so afraid, afraid that it wouldn't work, and that one of us would hurt the other. We had plans to see each other over Christmas, and I told him that we would see how that went and go from there. He agreed. We talked about it more and more. We saw each other a couple of times, but it was a non intimate situation.
Then the other shoe fell. The one thing that in my mind could ruin any chances of making it happen. I never realized that in the long run it wouldn't have that effect at all.
I found out I was pregnant.
Somewhat ironic that someone who thought they couldn't get pregnant ended up pregnant 'by accident.' I thought I knew my cycle, but I messed it up one month. I forgot that while I always considered US infertile (and still do), I forgot to remember that I could get pregnant, that we suffered from severe Male Factor Infertility, and there was 'nothing' wrong with me. I got careless. When I found out it was a moment of pure joy, I was elated beyond belief, then I had the moment where I thought to myself that it was the wrong situation.
The day I told K I cried so hard. He took it well, but he cancelled our plans for the night and went out to have his alone time. I was devestated, and had prepared myself for single parenthood. But I was wrong about K. He called me and said, 'you know, this is what we always wanted. wanting this almost destroyed us, and now we've been offered a miracle. I love you and love our child.' He also pointed out that we were getting divorced, that he made the same choices that I did, he did the same things that I did, but he really couldn't get anyone else pregnant.
He opened his arms and took me back, with unconditional love. I'm not saying we haven't had to work hard, because we have. We had a lot of hurdles to get over, a lot of apologizing and forgiving to do. But we did it. We made it in one piece. We learned how to communicate. But it has all been worth it and now we are stronger than ever. K adopted Bug, so we are truly one unit, one family, Bug is his daughter, period. We even have to catch ourselves before giving K's medical history for her.
I was baptized at Easter last April. I was 6 months pregnant, and it was right before my 30th birthday. I thank God, literally, for giving me my life and love back. I thank him for making me see the light, I thank Him and my counselor for getting me to accept and move on from my demons. We go to church every week, with very few exceptions. We have finally found GodParents for Bug (virtually no one we know is Catholic), and are getting ready to baptize her. Every day, every week, I thank God for K, for Bug, and yes, for our sperm donor. I thank God for helping me to get back on path, and to help keep me on it. When I struggle, I talk to K now instead of keeping it in. I am, in a good way, a changed woman.
The wrong situation turned out to be the best thing of my, of our, lives.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Calling all pilot's wives... with children!
How do you make it all work, if you also work? I am a manager, and have to travel. So far, we've been able to make it work because the travel has been to Toledo (where my MIL lives) or Cleveland (where my parents live) and they were able to watch Bug.
However, Wednesday night K got called in for a flight, leaving that night and getting home today (Friday). Problem was, I was supposed to leave for work at 5:30 in the morning (had to travel about 2 1/2 hours away) and daycare doesn't open until 6:30. I ended up having my portion of a presentation switched so that I would go last. I literally was waiting in the parking lot at daycare when they opened, had already filled out the form (took one home the night before) and just dropped it all off and hit the road. It was stressful, and depending on what I was traveling for, may not work out the way it did in the future.
I have no other family around, and am just starting to make friends here, so none that I would feel comfortable (yet) calling and asking for help with the baby while I travel....
So, how do you make it work if/when you run into situations like this?
However, Wednesday night K got called in for a flight, leaving that night and getting home today (Friday). Problem was, I was supposed to leave for work at 5:30 in the morning (had to travel about 2 1/2 hours away) and daycare doesn't open until 6:30. I ended up having my portion of a presentation switched so that I would go last. I literally was waiting in the parking lot at daycare when they opened, had already filled out the form (took one home the night before) and just dropped it all off and hit the road. It was stressful, and depending on what I was traveling for, may not work out the way it did in the future.
I have no other family around, and am just starting to make friends here, so none that I would feel comfortable (yet) calling and asking for help with the baby while I travel....
So, how do you make it work if/when you run into situations like this?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Birthday
OK, so I'm kinda new to this being a pilots wife thing. We've been together for over 11 years, but he was an A&P Mechanic first, which means that he worked on the planes he now flies. The pilot thing has been within the last year and 1/2 or so. So, add a new baby into that. Not making excuses, just setting up some background.
So, there's a blogger that I follow that is also a pilots wife, and she recently wrote a blog about why their relationship works. You can read it here:
http://comebackdaddy.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-our-relationship-works.html
I read it the other day and went 'oh yeah, that all makes SO much sense. I'm really glad she wrote this.' The one that hit home the most was this one:
Don't be a whiny bitch all the time.
Basically it tells you to find a good friend to whine to, don't do it to your husband all the time because he wants to be home as much as you want him to be home, but there's nothing he can do about it. It's worse if he's on reserve (which is where they pretty much just sit in some city waiting to see if they are needed to fly).
OK, so why did this hit home? Well, because I can be whiny. There, I admitted it. I can be a whiny bitch sometimes. I try not to, I really do, but when I'm having a tough time all I want to do is whine about it for a little while before I move on. Yep, that's me.
So, with that being said....
Yesterday was my birthday. K wasn't here for it last year either, and last year was the big 3-0. For some reason I was OK with it. Maybe because I was pretty darn pregnant, and my staff took me out to dinner and a movie, and it was a really nice, very laid back time. Well, yesterday was different. I got a TON of birthday wishes, which made me smile huge. But only one of my staff even remembered, so there was no suggestions to do anything with me. K wasn't here. My mom called at the end of my work day and let me know that she wasn't going to come this weekend because she is on jury duty and made it to a jury. (she lives 5 1/2 hours away, so it's not real feasible to drive out Sat morn and home Sun). So, that makes our car shopping plans a little tougher. It also makes our dinner date plans a little tougher.
A light in my car is on. I forgot my syrup at work and all I wanted for dinner was waffles, but not without syrup.
Then, to my complete and utter horror, Bug fell off the bed. She more rolled off the bed, and finished the roll on the floor. It ended with us both in tears.
5 mins later K called. I took deep breaths, remembered the post from this fellow pilots wife, and calmed down. The conversation went something like this.
K: How's it going?
Me: It's been a tough night. Bug just fell off the bed. (I couldn't NOT tell him that!)
K: Oh my God, is she OK?
Me: Yes, I think so, she is playing and kicking her legs.
K: Good. Did she cry?
Me: Yep
K: Did you cry?
Me: Sure did.
K: I'm sorry babe, I'm sure she'll be OK.
There was some more back and forth on this, then:
K: Well, how was the rest of your day?
Me: It was good!
I am SO proud of myself. He did specifically ask about my staff remembering, so I told him that they didn't but that it was OK. Actually, we proceeded to joke about whatever happened to kissing the boss' butt.
Know what? It felt good to not be a whiny bitch. It felt good to let him know that bad thing that had happened with Bug, but to deal with the rest of the crap on my own. Know something else? After Bug went to bed (I usually eat with her), I enjoyed my bowl of honey nut cheerios as my birthday dinner. And it was great. We'll maybe cook out on Saturday for my Birthday, and I'll test drive the cars and he'll only test drive the one's I'm most interested in. The light in my car? Tire pressure. No biggie, I'll handle.
I'm glad that someone else could put it into perspective for me. I'll moan in my head for a minute and move on. It's not so bad, especially when I've got Bug cuddling me.
~Emms
Edited to add - K called right after I posted this (but I was on my way to look at a rental house) and let me know that he was released and at the airport to come home! Woo Hoo!
So, there's a blogger that I follow that is also a pilots wife, and she recently wrote a blog about why their relationship works. You can read it here:
http://comebackdaddy.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-our-relationship-works.html
I read it the other day and went 'oh yeah, that all makes SO much sense. I'm really glad she wrote this.' The one that hit home the most was this one:
Don't be a whiny bitch all the time.
Basically it tells you to find a good friend to whine to, don't do it to your husband all the time because he wants to be home as much as you want him to be home, but there's nothing he can do about it. It's worse if he's on reserve (which is where they pretty much just sit in some city waiting to see if they are needed to fly).
OK, so why did this hit home? Well, because I can be whiny. There, I admitted it. I can be a whiny bitch sometimes. I try not to, I really do, but when I'm having a tough time all I want to do is whine about it for a little while before I move on. Yep, that's me.
So, with that being said....
Yesterday was my birthday. K wasn't here for it last year either, and last year was the big 3-0. For some reason I was OK with it. Maybe because I was pretty darn pregnant, and my staff took me out to dinner and a movie, and it was a really nice, very laid back time. Well, yesterday was different. I got a TON of birthday wishes, which made me smile huge. But only one of my staff even remembered, so there was no suggestions to do anything with me. K wasn't here. My mom called at the end of my work day and let me know that she wasn't going to come this weekend because she is on jury duty and made it to a jury. (she lives 5 1/2 hours away, so it's not real feasible to drive out Sat morn and home Sun). So, that makes our car shopping plans a little tougher. It also makes our dinner date plans a little tougher.
A light in my car is on. I forgot my syrup at work and all I wanted for dinner was waffles, but not without syrup.
Then, to my complete and utter horror, Bug fell off the bed. She more rolled off the bed, and finished the roll on the floor. It ended with us both in tears.
5 mins later K called. I took deep breaths, remembered the post from this fellow pilots wife, and calmed down. The conversation went something like this.
K: How's it going?
Me: It's been a tough night. Bug just fell off the bed. (I couldn't NOT tell him that!)
K: Oh my God, is she OK?
Me: Yes, I think so, she is playing and kicking her legs.
K: Good. Did she cry?
Me: Yep
K: Did you cry?
Me: Sure did.
K: I'm sorry babe, I'm sure she'll be OK.
There was some more back and forth on this, then:
K: Well, how was the rest of your day?
Me: It was good!
I am SO proud of myself. He did specifically ask about my staff remembering, so I told him that they didn't but that it was OK. Actually, we proceeded to joke about whatever happened to kissing the boss' butt.
Know what? It felt good to not be a whiny bitch. It felt good to let him know that bad thing that had happened with Bug, but to deal with the rest of the crap on my own. Know something else? After Bug went to bed (I usually eat with her), I enjoyed my bowl of honey nut cheerios as my birthday dinner. And it was great. We'll maybe cook out on Saturday for my Birthday, and I'll test drive the cars and he'll only test drive the one's I'm most interested in. The light in my car? Tire pressure. No biggie, I'll handle.
I'm glad that someone else could put it into perspective for me. I'll moan in my head for a minute and move on. It's not so bad, especially when I've got Bug cuddling me.
~Emms
Edited to add - K called right after I posted this (but I was on my way to look at a rental house) and let me know that he was released and at the airport to come home! Woo Hoo!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Homes...
So, we have been living in an apartment due to our house situation back home, and inability to sell it (crappy economy). So, we have decided that we really need to get more space, for us and the dog. A fenced in backyard, so that my life is easier when K is gone, and the poor pup gets exercise EVERY day, not just when the weather is right and Bug is cooperative.
So, we started looking for rental houses. It's been tough, because we still have other monetary obligations (damn mortgage) as well as things we want (IVF, future mortgage) and need (new car for me). So, we came up with a figure and are just hoping it all works out.
With that being said, I turned in an application and check yesterday for a house. Dependent on K's approval, but there was another couple that applied and if I didn't do it then I would most likely lose it as an option. I don't LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it, but I do like it a lot as a short term deal. Like a few years. But I don't have the eye that K does. If he doesn't like it, or we don't get picked, we're out $150. Ugh. Needless to say, I'm still looking, just in case.
I'm getting excited about this weekend. I was torn as my best friend from back home is going to be about 2 1/2 hours north of me with another friend and she wanted me to come see them for the day. I wanted to, I really did. I need it, the shopping, the time away, the time with my friends. But, my mom is going to be here, K is home, and we were going to car shop (wooo hooo) and have a date while my mom watched Bug. Allow ourselves a nice dinner for my bday. Plus, I have to travel for work Monday and Thursday, and Mondays is really far away so I may go Sunday night. So, I think I'm staying home. I think I'll just insist that I get a bath, glass of wine, and nap while everyone is around.
So, I know I'll get the house if I'm meant to, but wish me luck in the search. I honestly cannot wait to get into something with more space. Oh how nice it will be for the whole family.
~Emms
So, we started looking for rental houses. It's been tough, because we still have other monetary obligations (damn mortgage) as well as things we want (IVF, future mortgage) and need (new car for me). So, we came up with a figure and are just hoping it all works out.
With that being said, I turned in an application and check yesterday for a house. Dependent on K's approval, but there was another couple that applied and if I didn't do it then I would most likely lose it as an option. I don't LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it, but I do like it a lot as a short term deal. Like a few years. But I don't have the eye that K does. If he doesn't like it, or we don't get picked, we're out $150. Ugh. Needless to say, I'm still looking, just in case.
I'm getting excited about this weekend. I was torn as my best friend from back home is going to be about 2 1/2 hours north of me with another friend and she wanted me to come see them for the day. I wanted to, I really did. I need it, the shopping, the time away, the time with my friends. But, my mom is going to be here, K is home, and we were going to car shop (wooo hooo) and have a date while my mom watched Bug. Allow ourselves a nice dinner for my bday. Plus, I have to travel for work Monday and Thursday, and Mondays is really far away so I may go Sunday night. So, I think I'm staying home. I think I'll just insist that I get a bath, glass of wine, and nap while everyone is around.
So, I know I'll get the house if I'm meant to, but wish me luck in the search. I honestly cannot wait to get into something with more space. Oh how nice it will be for the whole family.
~Emms
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tough Weekend
K is gone 16 - 20 days a month. So for this month, this was weekend number 2. Luckily he'll be home this Friday night.
So, why was my weekend tough? First of all, it was just one of those weekends. I was tired and a little moody. Maybe this is my body 'cycling' even though I still haven't started my PPAF.
The sleep issue's started a couple of weeks ago. With Bug being sick, she just wasn't sleeping well. Then it carried over after she got better. Back to waking up anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night, and it would be a lot of her tears when she did wake. I would try everything, and the only way to get her back down was to nurse her.
So, then last week she started eating less and less solids. She typically loves her solids! But she would take a bite or two then clamp her mouth shut tight and refuse. Then crying would happen if I tried too hard to get her to eat them.
So, Friday night, poor Bug hardly slept. So, Saturday morning started out early, and with me being exhausted to begin with. She refused to eat ANY solids, and was just cranky in general. At naptime she refused to go into her crib. To the tune of screaming bloody murder ~ I can't believe no one called the cops it was so loud and angry! This would even happen after I got her to sleep and then put her in the crib. Finally, I just held her so that she would get a nap (after 30 or so mins of trying, and realizing that if I tried any longer she would decide that she wasn't gonna sleep anymore). Same thing happened for the second nap of the day. Lunch and dinner she again refused solids. During all this time she wanted to nurse still, which is good.
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, after we went to mass, I was talking to K and was just an emotional wreck. I don't have any friends really where I live as I haven't really had much of an opportunity to meet people after we moved. So that ended up playing into everything and I ended up in tears. K, who is the best hubby either, proceeded to get ahold of my best friend back home, C, and had her call me. We talked for quite a long time, and I felt so much better afterwards. It's just so tough when I'm tired and could use 30 mins of me time and K is gone, you know?
I don't want to complain, I wouldn't trade this for the world, and sometimes I feel bad when I let it get to me, after all we went through to get our miracle. But I recognize that when you are in serious need of some sleep and me time, it can get a little overwhelming, and I think that's just what happened this weekend.
Add in that we are trying to get our house back home rented out, and in the meantime find a house here to rent and get out of an apartment. The apartment was good at the time, but we need more space and a backyard for the dog. So I'm trying to look on the weekends when K is gone because we only have until the end of June. So, add in just one more stressor LOL.
Sunday was a duplicate of Saturday. Up real early, didn't want to nap, didn't want to eat solids, etc. Cranky. Last night she was up every 2 hours. Yep, my almost 9 month old decided it was time to be up every 2 hours again. Then, since she was so tired, she decided to sleep in a little bit, til about 6:30, of course, on a day that I can't sleep in because I had to get ready for work!!
Sigh. That's just how it goes somedays. My mom is coming to visit us this weekend, which will be nice. She wasn't going to come since K will be home, but this Thursday is my bday, and K and I thought having her here would allow us to go out and have a nice dinner, just the two of us. Plus, we are in SERIOUS need of a new car, so she can go with us and watch Bug while we test drive. Put it this way - when I bought this car I just KNEW that I would never be blessed with a baby. So, I bought a 2 door, Honda Civic SI. Fun car, I love it. But, it's 2 doors, and TINY. So, I am starting to struggle with back aches, and tennis elbow/carpal tunnel or something like pains in my arms from the way I have to twist and turn to get her in the car. Which also means I still carry her in her heavy car seat, because otherwise I would have to put the car seat on the ground next to the car to put her in it, then put it back in the car. Really, just not an ideal situation. But, we finished our taxes yesterday and thankfully now will have a down payment!!
Well, gotta get back to work now. Missing my Bug and can't wait to get home to see my crankster, so the quicker I can get stuff done the quicker I can get outta here!
~Emms
So, why was my weekend tough? First of all, it was just one of those weekends. I was tired and a little moody. Maybe this is my body 'cycling' even though I still haven't started my PPAF.
The sleep issue's started a couple of weeks ago. With Bug being sick, she just wasn't sleeping well. Then it carried over after she got better. Back to waking up anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night, and it would be a lot of her tears when she did wake. I would try everything, and the only way to get her back down was to nurse her.
So, then last week she started eating less and less solids. She typically loves her solids! But she would take a bite or two then clamp her mouth shut tight and refuse. Then crying would happen if I tried too hard to get her to eat them.
So, Friday night, poor Bug hardly slept. So, Saturday morning started out early, and with me being exhausted to begin with. She refused to eat ANY solids, and was just cranky in general. At naptime she refused to go into her crib. To the tune of screaming bloody murder ~ I can't believe no one called the cops it was so loud and angry! This would even happen after I got her to sleep and then put her in the crib. Finally, I just held her so that she would get a nap (after 30 or so mins of trying, and realizing that if I tried any longer she would decide that she wasn't gonna sleep anymore). Same thing happened for the second nap of the day. Lunch and dinner she again refused solids. During all this time she wanted to nurse still, which is good.
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, after we went to mass, I was talking to K and was just an emotional wreck. I don't have any friends really where I live as I haven't really had much of an opportunity to meet people after we moved. So that ended up playing into everything and I ended up in tears. K, who is the best hubby either, proceeded to get ahold of my best friend back home, C, and had her call me. We talked for quite a long time, and I felt so much better afterwards. It's just so tough when I'm tired and could use 30 mins of me time and K is gone, you know?
I don't want to complain, I wouldn't trade this for the world, and sometimes I feel bad when I let it get to me, after all we went through to get our miracle. But I recognize that when you are in serious need of some sleep and me time, it can get a little overwhelming, and I think that's just what happened this weekend.
Add in that we are trying to get our house back home rented out, and in the meantime find a house here to rent and get out of an apartment. The apartment was good at the time, but we need more space and a backyard for the dog. So I'm trying to look on the weekends when K is gone because we only have until the end of June. So, add in just one more stressor LOL.
Sunday was a duplicate of Saturday. Up real early, didn't want to nap, didn't want to eat solids, etc. Cranky. Last night she was up every 2 hours. Yep, my almost 9 month old decided it was time to be up every 2 hours again. Then, since she was so tired, she decided to sleep in a little bit, til about 6:30, of course, on a day that I can't sleep in because I had to get ready for work!!
Sigh. That's just how it goes somedays. My mom is coming to visit us this weekend, which will be nice. She wasn't going to come since K will be home, but this Thursday is my bday, and K and I thought having her here would allow us to go out and have a nice dinner, just the two of us. Plus, we are in SERIOUS need of a new car, so she can go with us and watch Bug while we test drive. Put it this way - when I bought this car I just KNEW that I would never be blessed with a baby. So, I bought a 2 door, Honda Civic SI. Fun car, I love it. But, it's 2 doors, and TINY. So, I am starting to struggle with back aches, and tennis elbow/carpal tunnel or something like pains in my arms from the way I have to twist and turn to get her in the car. Which also means I still carry her in her heavy car seat, because otherwise I would have to put the car seat on the ground next to the car to put her in it, then put it back in the car. Really, just not an ideal situation. But, we finished our taxes yesterday and thankfully now will have a down payment!!
Well, gotta get back to work now. Missing my Bug and can't wait to get home to see my crankster, so the quicker I can get stuff done the quicker I can get outta here!
~Emms
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Bug is sick... again
Well, she has another ear infection. Really? This is getting old, my poor little kiddo!
So, I didn't see our regular ped as he wasn't in yesterday. But the one we saw was the one that saw Bug in the hospital. Really, it's all good because we like all of the docs in the practice. Anyway, I questioned her about Bug being sick all. the. time. I mean really, this year alone she's on her second ear infection and has had pneumonia. She asked if Bug was in daycare, which she is. Dr B advised that for babies in daycare, they expect to see approximately 11 colds the first year. HOLY CRAP. That's just about 1 a month! Which is the track that Bug is on, she has had just about 1 a month since she was born! YIKES. She also said 4-6 ear infections in a babies first year. Wow, that means 2-4 more is still normal in the next 4 months! Oh boy.
So last night, got her down to bed pretty good, and just as I was getting ready for bed around 9:30 she woke up with these cries that just broke my heart! I could just tell she was in pain. I had looked for the ear drops that our normal ped gave us a while back to help with the pain in the ear earlier, and had not been able to find them. So, I gave her some tylenol and spent 20 or so mins calming her down. Then I found the drops, of course. So I put a couple in and then nursed her back to sleep. Poor little thing, I hate when she's in pain and there's nothing I can really do about it.
The night before that, and even today she has been having a lot of problems nursing since she is so congested. Luckily she really wants to, so hopefully this won't turn into any kind of a nursing strike, really just an 'I'm too sick to really eat' moment.
So, I was talking to a friend of mine last night on FB, and we were talking about BFing. Now, I'm going to be honest here. I've always said that at 12 months I'm done, because beyond that it was always creepy to me. This friend BF'd until 13 months and said she'd give me pointers on weaning. K wants me to stop at 12 months because he thinks it's creepy beyond that. With that being said, while I probably will start weaning at 12 months, I now know why so many mama's choose to do extended BFing. I'll be honest on here ~ I won't work real real hard at weaning her at 12 months. I'll start, but I'll let it be a slow process, especially considering that K is gone 3/4 of the month and will never know! I've realized that this relationship is something so very precious to both of us, and I have a feeling that she won't want to give it up either. She still searches me out to nurse when she's hungry or just needs comforted. To me it's so very very sweet. However I also realize that by doing this I may slow down our TTC journey, as I still have not gotten my PPAF. So I do have to factor that in, and therefore may really wean right around 12 months.
Weaning for me also means weaning the babies that I've been donating to. That for me is a hard pill to swallow as they are younger than Bug and will then need to find other mama's when I stop pumping. So then I have to decide how much of the milk that I have left do I want to keep for Bug versus how much to donate.
I know I still have a few months to make all of these decisions, but I also know how fast those months are going to fly by. I'm just trying not to let it creep up on me.
Well, off to get a few things done before Bug wakes up from her nap. Have a great Saturday!
~Emms
So, I didn't see our regular ped as he wasn't in yesterday. But the one we saw was the one that saw Bug in the hospital. Really, it's all good because we like all of the docs in the practice. Anyway, I questioned her about Bug being sick all. the. time. I mean really, this year alone she's on her second ear infection and has had pneumonia. She asked if Bug was in daycare, which she is. Dr B advised that for babies in daycare, they expect to see approximately 11 colds the first year. HOLY CRAP. That's just about 1 a month! Which is the track that Bug is on, she has had just about 1 a month since she was born! YIKES. She also said 4-6 ear infections in a babies first year. Wow, that means 2-4 more is still normal in the next 4 months! Oh boy.
So last night, got her down to bed pretty good, and just as I was getting ready for bed around 9:30 she woke up with these cries that just broke my heart! I could just tell she was in pain. I had looked for the ear drops that our normal ped gave us a while back to help with the pain in the ear earlier, and had not been able to find them. So, I gave her some tylenol and spent 20 or so mins calming her down. Then I found the drops, of course. So I put a couple in and then nursed her back to sleep. Poor little thing, I hate when she's in pain and there's nothing I can really do about it.
The night before that, and even today she has been having a lot of problems nursing since she is so congested. Luckily she really wants to, so hopefully this won't turn into any kind of a nursing strike, really just an 'I'm too sick to really eat' moment.
So, I was talking to a friend of mine last night on FB, and we were talking about BFing. Now, I'm going to be honest here. I've always said that at 12 months I'm done, because beyond that it was always creepy to me. This friend BF'd until 13 months and said she'd give me pointers on weaning. K wants me to stop at 12 months because he thinks it's creepy beyond that. With that being said, while I probably will start weaning at 12 months, I now know why so many mama's choose to do extended BFing. I'll be honest on here ~ I won't work real real hard at weaning her at 12 months. I'll start, but I'll let it be a slow process, especially considering that K is gone 3/4 of the month and will never know! I've realized that this relationship is something so very precious to both of us, and I have a feeling that she won't want to give it up either. She still searches me out to nurse when she's hungry or just needs comforted. To me it's so very very sweet. However I also realize that by doing this I may slow down our TTC journey, as I still have not gotten my PPAF. So I do have to factor that in, and therefore may really wean right around 12 months.
Weaning for me also means weaning the babies that I've been donating to. That for me is a hard pill to swallow as they are younger than Bug and will then need to find other mama's when I stop pumping. So then I have to decide how much of the milk that I have left do I want to keep for Bug versus how much to donate.
I know I still have a few months to make all of these decisions, but I also know how fast those months are going to fly by. I'm just trying not to let it creep up on me.
Well, off to get a few things done before Bug wakes up from her nap. Have a great Saturday!
~Emms
Friday, April 1, 2011
Happy April Fools Day!
I got an email this morning, oddly enough from my apartment complex. They gave a link for funny April Fools hoaxes, and I found some of them pretty darn amusing. So, I posted below some of the one's that I found funny within the first 50... I stopped reading them after that, so I don't know how many there were in total, but I added the link at the end if you want to read any of the others!
Enjoy!
Emms
#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best." #4: The Taco Liberty Bell
1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial. #6: Nixon for President
1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little. #8: The Left-Handed Whopper
1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version." #9: Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers
1995: Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history. #10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity
1976: The British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room. #11: UFO Lands in London
1989: On March 31, 1989 thousands of motorists driving on the highway outside London looked up in the air to see a glowing flying saucer descending on their city. Many of them pulled to the side of the road to watch the bizarre craft float through the air. The saucer finally landed in a field on the outskirts of London where local residents immediately called the police to warn them of an alien invasion. Soon the police arrived on the scene, and one brave officer approached the craft with his truncheon extended before him. When a door in the craft popped open, and a small, silver-suited figure emerged, the policeman ran in the opposite direction. The saucer turned out to be a hot-air balloon that had been specially built to look like a UFO by Richard Branson, the 36-year-old chairman of Virgin Records. The stunt combined his passion for ballooning with his love of pranks. His plan was to land the craft in London's Hyde Park on April 1. Unfortunately, the wind blew him off course, and he was forced to land a day early in the wrong location. #14: The Body of Nessie Found
1972: On March 31 1972, a team of zoologists from Yorkshire's Flamingo Park Zoo, who were at Loch Ness searching for proof of Nessie's existence, found a mysterious carcass floating in the Loch. Initial reports claimed it weighed a ton and a half and was 15 ½ feet long. The zoologists placed the body in a van and began to transport it back to the zoo. However, the police chased down their truck and stopped it under a 1933 act of Parliament prohibiting the removal of "unidentified creatures" from Loch Ness. The body was then taken to nearby Dunfermline for examination. The discovery of the carcass received worldwide media attention. The British press dubbed it "Son of Nessie." But upon examination, Edinburgh scientists identified the creature as a bull elephant seal from the South Atlantic. The next day John Shields, Flamingo Park's education officer, confessed he had been responsible for the body. The bull elephant seal had died the week before at Dudley Zoo. He had shaved off its whiskers, padded its cheeks with stones, and kept it frozen for a week, before dumping it in the Loch and then phoning in a tip to make sure his colleagues found it. He had meant to play an April Fool's prank on his colleagues, but admitted the joke got out of hand when the police chased down their van.
#15: Metric Time
1975: 
Australia's This Day Tonight news program revealed that the country would soon be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays. The report included an interview with Deputy Premier Des Corcoran who praised the new time system. The Adelaide townhall was even shown sporting a new 10-hour metric clock face. The thumbnail (found at TelevisionAU.com) shows TDT Adelaide reporter Nigel Starck posing with a smaller metric clock. TDT received numerous calls from viewers who fell for the hoax. One frustrated viewer wanted to know how he could convert his newly purchased digital clock to metric time.
Australia's This Day Tonight news program revealed that the country would soon be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays. The report included an interview with Deputy Premier Des Corcoran who praised the new time system. The Adelaide townhall was even shown sporting a new 10-hour metric clock face. The thumbnail (found at TelevisionAU.com) shows TDT Adelaide reporter Nigel Starck posing with a smaller metric clock. TDT received numerous calls from viewers who fell for the hoax. One frustrated viewer wanted to know how he could convert his newly purchased digital clock to metric time.#17: The Case of the Interfering Brassieres
1982: The Daily Mail reported that a local manufacturer had sold 10,000 "rogue bras" that were causing a unique and unprecedented problem, not to the wearers but to the public at large. Apparently the support wire in these bras had been made out of a kind of copper originally designed for use in fire alarms. When this copper came into contact with nylon and body heat, it produced static electricity which, in turn, was interfering with local television and radio broadcasts. The chief engineer of British Telecom, upon reading the article, immediately ordered that all his female laboratory employees disclose what type of bra they were wearing.
#19: The Sydney Iceberg
1978: A barge appeared in Sydney Harbor towing a giant iceberg. Sydneysiders were expecting it. Dick Smith, a local adventurer and millionaire businessman (owner of Dick Smith's Foods), had been loudly promoting his scheme to tow an iceberg from Antarctica for quite some time. Now he had apparently succeeded. He said that he was going to carve the berg into small ice cubes, which he would sell to the public for ten cents each. These well-traveled cubes, fresh from the pure waters of Antarctica, were promised to improve the flavor of any drink they cooled. Slowly the iceberg made its way into the harbor. Local radio stations provided excited blow-by-blow coverage of the scene. Only when the berg was well into the harbor was its secret revealed. It started to rain, and the firefighting foam and shaving cream that the berg was really made of washed away, uncovering the white plastic sheets beneath. #21: Bombs Away!
1915: On April 1, 1915, in the midst of World War I, a French aviator flew over a German camp and dropped what appeared to be a huge bomb. The German soldiers immediately scattered in all directions, but no explosion followed. After some time, the soldiers crept back and gingerly approached the bomb. They discovered it was actually a large football with a note tied to it that read, "April Fool!" 
2002: The British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement in The Sun announcing the successful development of a genetically modified 'whistling carrot.' The ad explained that the carrots had been specially engineered to grow with tapered airholes in their side. When fully cooked, these airholes caused the vegetable to whistle.
1950: Motorists driving along the scenic Rim of the World highway near Lake Arrowhead in Southern California discovered that the pine and cedar trees lining the road had all grown oranges overnight. The transformation was the work of the residents of the nearby town of Skyforest, led by the cartoonist Frank Adams. They had crept out during the night and strung 50,000 oranges in the trees along a one-mile section of the highway. The fruit was left over from the recent National Orange Show in San Bernardino. 
1708: In February 1708 a previously unknown London astrologer named Isaac Bickerstaff published an almanac in which he predicted the death by fever of the famous rival astrologer John Partridge. According to Bickerstaff, Partridge would die on March 29 of that year. Partridge indignantly denied the prediction, but on March 30 Bickerstaff released a pamphlet announcing that he had been correct: Partridge was dead. It took a day for the news to settle in, but soon everyone had heard of the astrologer's demise. Thus, on April 1st Partridge was woken by a sexton outside his window who wanted to know if there were any orders for his funeral sermon. Then, as Partridge walked down the street, people stared at him as if they were looking at a ghost or stopped to tell him that he looked exactly like someone they knew who was dead. As hard as he tried, Partridge couldn't convince people that he wasn't dead. Bickerstaff, it turned out, was a pseudonym for the satirist Jonathan Swift. His prognosticatory practical joke upon Partridge worked so well that the astrologer finally was forced to stop publishing his almanacs, because he couldn't shake his reputation as the man whose death had been foretold. 
1972: The Veterinary Record, the weekly journal of the British veterinary profession, contained an article about the diseases of Brunus edwardii, which was described as a species "commonly kept in homes in the United Kingdom and other countries in Europe and North America." The article warned:
For months afterwards the correspondence section of the Veterinary Record was dominated by letters about Brunus edwardii, most of which offered new observations about the species. The article proved so popular that it was eventually published in a special edition by Whittington Press, although it was reported that the British Library later had difficulty deciding how to classify it, as fact or fiction. Brunus edwardii is more commonly known as the "Teddy Bear".
#22: Whistling Carrots
2002: The British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement in The Sun announcing the successful development of a genetically modified 'whistling carrot.' The ad explained that the carrots had been specially engineered to grow with tapered airholes in their side. When fully cooked, these airholes caused the vegetable to whistle.#23: The Skyforest Orange-Bearing Pine Trees
1950: Motorists driving along the scenic Rim of the World highway near Lake Arrowhead in Southern California discovered that the pine and cedar trees lining the road had all grown oranges overnight. The transformation was the work of the residents of the nearby town of Skyforest, led by the cartoonist Frank Adams. They had crept out during the night and strung 50,000 oranges in the trees along a one-mile section of the highway. The fruit was left over from the recent National Orange Show in San Bernardino. #25: 15th Annual New York City April Fool’s Day Parade
2000: A news release sent to the media stated that the 15th annual New York City April Fool's Day Parade was scheduled to begin at noon on 59th Street and would proceed down to Fifth Avenue. According to the release, floats in the parade would include a "Beat 'em, Bust 'em, Book 'em" float created by the New York, Los Angeles, and Seattle police departments. This float would portray "themes of brutality, corruption and incompetence." A "Where's Mars?" float, reportedly built at a cost of $10 billion, would portray missed Mars missions. Finally, the "Atlanta Braves Baseball Tribute to Racism" float would feature John Rocker who would be "spewing racial epithets at the crowd." CNN and the Fox affiliate WNYW sent television news crews to cover the parade. They arrived at 59th Street at noon only to discover that there was no sign of a parade, at which point the reporters realized they had been hoaxed. The prank was the handiwork of Joey Skaggs, an experienced hoaxer. Skaggs had been issuing press releases advertising the nonexistent parade every April Fool's Day since 1986. #26: The Predictions of Isaac Bickerstaff
1708: In February 1708 a previously unknown London astrologer named Isaac Bickerstaff published an almanac in which he predicted the death by fever of the famous rival astrologer John Partridge. According to Bickerstaff, Partridge would die on March 29 of that year. Partridge indignantly denied the prediction, but on March 30 Bickerstaff released a pamphlet announcing that he had been correct: Partridge was dead. It took a day for the news to settle in, but soon everyone had heard of the astrologer's demise. Thus, on April 1st Partridge was woken by a sexton outside his window who wanted to know if there were any orders for his funeral sermon. Then, as Partridge walked down the street, people stared at him as if they were looking at a ghost or stopped to tell him that he looked exactly like someone they knew who was dead. As hard as he tried, Partridge couldn't convince people that he wasn't dead. Bickerstaff, it turned out, was a pseudonym for the satirist Jonathan Swift. His prognosticatory practical joke upon Partridge worked so well that the astrologer finally was forced to stop publishing his almanacs, because he couldn't shake his reputation as the man whose death had been foretold. #27: Diseases of Brunus edwardii
1972: The Veterinary Record, the weekly journal of the British veterinary profession, contained an article about the diseases of Brunus edwardii, which was described as a species "commonly kept in homes in the United Kingdom and other countries in Europe and North America." The article warned: Pet ownership surveys have shown that 63.8 percent of households are inhabited by one or more of these animals, and there is a statistically significant relationship between their population and the number of children in a household. The public health implications of this fact are obvious, and it is imperative that more be known about their diseases, particularly zoonoses or other conditions which might be associated with their close contact with man.
For months afterwards the correspondence section of the Veterinary Record was dominated by letters about Brunus edwardii, most of which offered new observations about the species. The article proved so popular that it was eventually published in a special edition by Whittington Press, although it was reported that the British Library later had difficulty deciding how to classify it, as fact or fiction. Brunus edwardii is more commonly known as the "Teddy Bear".
#29: New Zealand Wasp Swarm
In 1949 Phil Shone, a New Zealand deejay for radio station 1ZB, announced to his listeners that a mile-wide wasp swarm was headed towards Auckland. He urged them to take a variety of steps to protect themselves and their homes from the winged menace. For instance, he suggested that they wear their socks over their trousers when they left for work, and that they leave honey-smeared traps outside their doors. Hundreds of people dutifully heeded his advice, until he finally admitted that it had all been a joke. The New Zealand Broadcasting Service was not amused by Shone's prank. Its director, Professor James Shelley, denounced the hoax on the grounds that it undermined the rules of proper broadcasting. From then on, a memo was sent out each year before April Fool's Day reminding New Zealand radio stations of their obligation to report the truth, and nothing but the truth. #33: The Derbyshire Fairy
2007: 
In late March 2007, images of an 8-inch mummified creature resembling a fairy were posted on the website of the Lebanon Circle Magik Co. Accompanying text explained how the creature had been found by a man walking his dog along an old roman road in rural Derbyshire. Word of this discovery soon spread around the internet. Bloggers excitedly speculated about whether the find was evidence of the actual existence of fairies. By April 1 the Lebanon Circle website had received tens of thousands of visitors and hundreds of emails. But at the end of April 1, Dan Baines, the owner of the site, confessed that the fairy was a hoax. He had used his skills as a magician's prop-maker to create the creature. Baines later reported that, even after his confession, he continued to receive numerous emails from people who refused to accept the fairy wasn't real. #35: Big Ben Goes Digital
1980: The BBC reported that Big Ben, in order to keep up with the times, was going to be given a digital readout. The announcement received a huge response from listeners shocked and angered by the proposed change. The BBC Japanese service also announced that the clock hands would be sold to the first four listeners to contact them. One Japanese seaman in the mid-Atlantic immediately radioed in a bid. #37: Dutch Elm Disease Infects Redheads
1973: BBC Radio broadcast an interview with an elderly academic, Dr. Clothier, who discoursed on the government's efforts to stop the spread of Dutch Elm Disease. Dr. Clothier described some startling discoveries that had been made about the tree disease. For instance, he referred to the research of Dr. Emily Lang of the London School of Pathological and Environmental Medicine. Dr. Lang had apparently found that exposure to Dutch Elm Disease immunized people to the common cold. Unfortunately, there was a side effect. Exposure to the disease also caused red hair to turn yellow and eventually fall out. This was attributed to a similarity between the blood count of redheads and the soil conditions in which affected trees grew. Therefore, redheads were advised to stay away from forests for the foreseeable future. Dr. Clothier was in reality the comedian Spike Milligan. #38: Operation Parallax
1979: London's Capital Radio announced that Operation Parallax would soon go into effect. This was a government plan to resynchronize the British calendar with the rest of the world. It was explained that ever since 1945 Britain had gradually become 48 hours ahead of all other countries because of the constant switching back and forth from British Summer Time. To remedy this situation, the British government had decided to cancel April 5 and 12 that year. Capital Radio received numerous calls as a result of this announcement. One employer wanted to know if she had to pay her employees for the missing days. Another woman was curious about what would happen to her birthday, which fell on one of the cancelled days. #39: Space Shuttle Lands in San Diego
1993: Dave Rickards, a deejay at KGB-FM in San Diego, announced that the space shuttle Discovery had been diverted from Edwards Air Force Base and would instead soon be landing at Montgomery Field, a small airport located in the middle of a residential area just outside of San Diego. Thousands of commuters immediately headed towards the landing site, causing enormous traffic jams that lasted for almost an hour. Police eventually had to be called in to clear the traffic. People arrived at the airport armed with cameras, camcorders, and even folding chairs. Reportedly the crowd swelled to over 1,000 people. Of course, the shuttle never landed. In fact, the Montgomery Field airport would have been far too small for the shuttle to even consider landing there. Moreover, there wasn't even a shuttle in orbit at the time. The police were not amused by the prank. They announced that they would be billing the radio station for the cost of forcing officers to direct the traffic. #40: The Spiggot Metric Boycott
1973: Westward Television, a British TV studio, produced a documentary feature about the village of Spiggot. As the documentary explained, the stubborn residents of this small town were refusing to accept the new decimal currency recently adopted by the British government, preferring instead to stick with the traditional denominations they had grown up with. As soon as the documentary was over, the studio received hundreds of calls expressing support for the brave stand taken by the villagers. In fact, many of the callers voiced their intention to join in the anti-decimal crusade. Unfortunately for this burgeoning rebellion, the village of Spiggot did not exist. #50: The Sheep Albedo Hypothesis
2007: RealClimate.org posted about the work of Dr. Ewe Noh-Watt of the New Zealand Institute of Veterinary Climatology, who had discovered that global warming was caused not by a buildup of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, but rather by the decline of New Zealand's sheep population. The reasoning was that sheep are white, and therefore large numbers of sheep increase the planet's albedo (the amount of sunlight reflected back into space). As the sheep population declined, the ground was absorbing more solar radiation, thus warming the planet: "It can be seen that the recent warming can be explained entirely by the decline in the New Zealand sheep population, without any need to bring in any mysterious so-called 'radiative forcing' from carbon dioxide, which doesn't affect the sunlight (hardly) anyway — unlike Sheep Albedo."Noh-Watt also warmed of a potentially destabilizing feedback mechanism: "As climate gets warmer, there is less demand for wool sweaters and wooly underwear. Hence the sheep population tends to drop, leading to even more warming. In an extreme form, this can lead to a 'runaway sheep-albedo feedback,' which is believed to have led to the present torrid climate of Venus."
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