Moving Onward

I'm still dealing with the death of my cousin.  I told K that I think I am finding it more difficult to get over in part because I am pregnant, in part because of the specific circumstances surrounding her death.  Drunk driver, being so young, having a young child at home.  I get through most days without crying now, but I still think of her often, and will for what I imagine is a very long time.

The drunk driver had his arraignment last week, and plead not guilty to the 8 (or was it 9?) counts he was charged with.  It turns out that he can only be convicted on up to 4 of the counts, with a maximum sentence of 27 (or was it 28?) years in prison.  That seems like such a short time considering what he took away, but I recognize that is how the laws are, and that I feel so strongly about it because this tragedy has affected me personally.  The trial will happen sometime in February.  I'm hopeful that I can go and be a support to my family.

The funeral was beautiful, and well attended.  Proof at how beautiful a person Heidi was, and how loved she was.

I walked away from all of this with a fresh outlook on life.  A reminder to keep those friends that I hold dear closer to me.  I'm at the point in my life where I have a lot of acquaintances  but only a handful of people that I consider true friends.  I've never been the best at keeping in constant contact with people, but I'm vowing to do better.  To keep reminding them what they mean to me, how important they are.  To see them more often.  To continue to bestow the love upon them that they deserve.

To spend more time just watching bug as she continues to learn more things.  Even if it means leaving the dirty dishes in the sink until tomorrow.  It's OK, they'll get done.  Any moment with bug that I miss I can't gain back.

Being the season, I am so thankful that I had Heidi in my life.  That she was a part of my family and always taught me the meaning of a pure heart.  That I got to see her one last time shortly before she left this world to become an angel.  That I know her fiancee and daughter will remain a part of this family, and a part of my life, forever.