Thumps and Bumps and Bruises Oh My

So K and I were lying in bed last night, and something made me ask if he got up in the middle of the night to close the window. 

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye and says:

“Did I get up last night?  Well, strange that you ask, but in fact I did.  And I’m surprised I didn’t wake you up.  In fact, I was sure I was going to wake up the kids.”

So I look at him for a minute while he takes a sip of beer.

“I got up to go pee, and on the way tripped over the dog and ran into your dresser.  Then I cracked my hip on the bed so hard that I shook the whole bed.  How you slept through that I’m not sure.  Then I ran into the closet door on the way, which you know, they’re hollow, so it slammed shut and bounced back open.”

By this time I’m laughing, because it’s pretty funny, and in fact I had not woken up to it.  He takes another swig of beer and continues.

“Then I managed to drop the toilet seat, and man was that loud.  I ran into the bathroom door on the way back out.  Then I somehow knocked off the cover to the tall candle holder (which is metal), and it came crashing down on the glass table.  THEN I managed to get into bed.  It’s amazing I didn't manage to wake up the whole neighborhood.”

Needless to say by this time I was laughing so hard that I was wiping the tears away.  Nope, I don’t remember waking up to any of this.  I must have been dead to the world asleep.  But I’m curious if there are any bruises.

The best part?  I’m still not sure if it was last night or not that he got up to close the window.

A Fathers Day Ode; To My Mother

So Sunday we had my parents over for Fathers Day.  We cooked out on the grill, and in general had a good time.  Bug peed on the wall and pooped on the floor, so if that tells you anything about how potty training is going....

First I want to be serious though.  I want to wish K a very happy fathers day.  This is a day that a mere 4 years ago we didn't think he'd ever celebrate with a living child.  But here we are, 4 years later with 2 amazing kiddos.  K is the most caring father I could ever ask for.  He has patience, love and an immeasurable amount of fun in him.  The way he plays with Bug and Goose, the way he holds them, the way he goes running when cries suddenly begin.  It's amazing, and it melts my heart.  I always knew he would be an amazing father, I always knew that you would be able to feel his love.  But he has surpassed all of that, and it never fails to give me pause to enjoy the sweet moments I catch.

So, the ode to my mother.

The guys were out doing, well, whatever guys do that involves the garage, and maybe the boat.  Anyways, my mom and I were talking about Bra's, and how much she hates them.  During the conversation she was telling me about the last bra that she bought.

Mom: So, I went to Lowe's, and I had a 15% off coupon.....

Me: Silence.  I'm staring at her, mouth slightly open, trying to comprehend why in the WORLD she would buy a BRA at LOWE'S.

Mom (seeing my face): What, you and K were back in T Town, and I had a coupon, so I went shopping.  (we are shopping buddies these days).

Me (trying my hardest NOT to laugh): So you bought it where?

Mom: Low..... Oh my.... Kohl's, I meant Kohl's.  They sound similar, you know?  Plus you were just talking about shopping at Lowe's......

Me, laughing uncontrollably.  Dad walks in, looks at us, and walks back out.


So a little bit later we are enjoying our apple pie with whipped cream on it.

Me: This is SO good!!

Mom: Yea, especially with the Jello on top.

Me: The what?

Mom: Jello.  Whipped Cream.  Oh man.  I think I need to go home.

Me: Man mom, that one beer really did you in today.
Yep, I'm laughing through all this too.



So they get ready to leave.  She gives us all hugs and kisses, saving K for last.
Mom: K, Happy Mothers Day.  I mean, Happy Fathers Day.  Gawd, I'm going home.