Transfer!

So yesterday when the embryologist called they said that there were 15 embryos that were still dividing and looking good.  8 of them looked really good at 4 cells or more.  So, they decided on transfer this morning.

So we got there about 11:15 with a VERY FULL BLADDER.  Man do I hate that part.  They did the transfer probably around noonish, and we transferred 2 beautiful embryos.  1 that was 8 cells and 1 that was 9 cells.  They said that there were so many that looked so good it was hard for them to choose which ones to transfer.

When they took me back for the transfer it was really neat, because they showed the embryo's up on a big screen that we could see, so we watched them suck them up into the catheter.  And cue tears.  Yep, I'm nice and emotional because of all this and the progesterone.  I laid flat for 20 minutes, then finally relieved my overfull bladder.  We left, grabbed some lunch, and came home.  I've been just relaxing all day.  Mom's here now helping play with Bug as K had to work (he's flight instructing now, have I mentioned that?!), and I want to take it easy.  Except I had to go to the bathroom earlier, and it was a bit, um, tough, so now I'm all freaked out.  But it'll be OK.

So they froze 6 embryo's today, and have 8 more that they're going to watch for a couple of days and freeze what they can.  Once all are frozen they'll send me an email detailing everything out.

I'm so hopeful it's scary.  I just pray that it doesn't all come crashing down.  But if it does, I know that we can make it through it as a family - K, Bug, me and God.

K isn't home to give me my PIO shot on time, so either I have to take it late, or hit up the nurses next door that I only kinda know and see if one of them will give it... I think I might try the nurses.  Plus I'm taking doxycycline (hates my stomach) and Medrol (to help keep my body from rejecting the embabies).

Welcome to the hellish Two Week Wait.  Blood test is exactly 2 weeks from today.

It seems like a lifetime.

Fertilization Report

So the embryologist called at about 8:30 this morning to give me the fertilization report.  25 eggs were removed, one fractured which she said was normal when there's a lot of eggs.  Of the 24 remaining, 20 were mature, so they ICSI'd all 20.

Because we have male factor infertility, and it's really not good (he doesn't have a lot, they are misshapen (think multiple heads/tails), don't swim well if at all, and aren't very strong), we do IVF with ICSI.  Normal IVF is where they put the egg and the sperm in a dish together and let them do their thing.  IVF with ICSI is where they actually inject the sperm directly into the egg.  So the sperm doesn't need to be able to swim well, doesn't need to be able to break into the egg, etc.

So, out of the 20 that were mature and ICSI'd, 16 of them fertilized normally.  These are good numbers compared to our last IVF (12 mature eggs, only 7 fertilized normally and those were all slow growers).  Now, I don't know yet how these babies are doing, they were all at 1 cell this morning, but that is exactly where they expected them to be.  So I'll hear more tomorrow, and I'll know tomorrow if we are going to do a 3 day or 5 day transfer.

On a side note, we started the PIO (progesterone in oil) shots tonight.  They weren't fun, but the worst part was the initial poke.  K had a REALLY hard time doing them though, he said he really felt the shot going in through fat and muscle and it kinda skeeved him out.  Hopefully he won't have any problems continuing to give me these shots.

As I've been all talk about IVF lately, on the Bug front... She wanted daddy to put her to bed tonight which is why I am getting a minute to do a post.  She found crayons, really found them, today during the day.  She's been pretty uninterested in them before now, but today she colored all over the glider stool and two walls.

Welcome to toddler hood LOL.  guess we'll be buying some Mr Clean Magic Erasers - I've heard they work well on crayon on walls!!

Trigger?!

So yesterday morning we went in for another ultrasound and bloodwork.  There were TONS and TONS of follies on both sides, and my estrogen was at 2969.  The RE I saw said that he felt there would be about 10 - 16 mature by Monday.

So....

I triggered last night at 10:00pm.  We have to be at the RE at 8:30am tomorrow morning for a 10:00 am retrieval.

I have to be honest, it almost doesn't seem real to me right now.  To us really.  After all we dealt with back in 2008 with IVF it's amazing that our first try at a cycle with a brand new RE is going so good.  It scares me a little that it'll all fall apart, but I'm keeping the hope that it won't.  I POAS this morning, and of course since you trigger with HCG it was positive.  I wanted to make sure it was.  I packed the second test away in hopes that I'll be using it in a couple of weeks for another, better positive.  I want this to work so bad, but every day I pray to God and let him know that I know his will will happen, and that there's nothing I can do about it, and that I accept that no matter how hard it is/will be.  I just hope hope hope it works out the way I want it to, the way I pray it will.

So yesterday, on top of the appointment and trigger, was my birthday.  I turned 32.  I've never really been a big birthday person, although since I was pregnant on my 30th they have been better.  Nana babysat and we went out to dinner, and then bought me a couple of new work shirts that I needed.  Nothing real exciting, but it was a TON of fun.  So nice to get out of the house.  Plus we needed to keep me up until 10 for the trigger, which I've been unsuccessful in doing lately (the hormones just wear me the heck out).

So I'm a bundle of nerves about everything, but at the same time strangely calm.  I don't know if that even makes sense, and I sure can't explain it.  I'm just hoping and praying for the best, and keeping my head held high.  The money is paid, we are now here.  This is it - our last shot at having a baby that looks like the both of us.  I'm at peace with that decision, and whatever decision we make if it doesn't work.  But that doesn't mean it's easy, because it's not.  I'm emotional over it.  But then I look at my bank account and know that financially and emotionally this being the last shot is the right thing.

Deep breathing.  Hopefully tomorrow goes smooth.

Furloughed

So, it's about to happen.  K is going to be out of a job. 

He works for a cargo airline, and has his whole adult life, ever since he got out of school and got his A&P license.  The two companies that he has worked for in that time frame both flew for BAX global, or Burlington Air Express, or Deutsch Bond... however you may be familiar with them.  (you may remember Burlington from many years ago, getting in trouble for running tests on their train drivers before being hired to make sure that they were not predisposed to things like carpal tunnel... then refusing to hire them if they were).

So, back in 2001 the first carrier he worked for lost their contract with BAX global, and went into bankruptcy.  They left T town and eventually went under completely (I believe).  So, the contract that they lost went to the carrier that he works for now.  First he worked in their Stores room (parts man basically) because it was all right after September 11 and NO ONE was hiring mechanics.  He did that for about a year and became a mechanic again.  Then he became a pilot for them just in 2010. 

BAX got bought out by Deutsch Bond a couple of years ago because they weren't doing real well.

Over the weekend we found out that as of September 1, 2011, BAX is closing their doors.  All of the mechanics that work for the company are done on that day.

We were hoping that he would maybe have a job through the end of the year, as they have found some work for most of the fleet of airplanes.

BUT.  K is low man on the totem pole.  They do seniority based on age+years of service.  K has been with the company almost 10 years (10 years in December), but he is only 32.  So that makes him 42 for seniority.  All the other pilots are in their upper 40's and older.  So, low man.

Which means he's the first to go.

A good friend of his, which also happens to be president of the union, called him last night.  He felt horrible because two of his best friends (K being one of them) are about to be out of jobs.  He basically said that K will probably fly in August, but that will be it.  No severance, just no job. 

So, we are cancelling our vacation for next month.  We are looking at where we can pare things down to save some money.  We are going to figure out how long we can continue to pay for daycare before we have to pull her out.  We want to give enough time so that K can get his CFI (certified flight instructor) as he doesn't really have enough hours as a pilot yet to get a job with a big carrier.  Then give him a little time to try to find a job, before we pull her.

Oh yeah, and that money we have been saving up for IVF?  That's going to go to paying bills now.  (Katery - I know you asked about going straight to IVF in the past... yes, we have to.  K's last SA had only about 600,000 swimmers, with only about 30% motility and like 5% morphology.  So it's a waste of money to do IUI, unless we use donor sperm).

I'm really really bummed about this all.  I mean, I'm not real worried about him being out of a job, it will be nice to have him home more.  I know with him home we can be real good about removing some wasteful spending from both of us. 

But I don't really want to put off fertility treatments.  We can't decide if we cancel the appointments, reschedule, or keep them.  He is thinking that he wants to work any OT if they actually offer it to him in August, to try to help out with money. 

I just don't know what to do.  I'm honestly a little heartbroken over the whole thing.

The positive?  I don't have to worry about weaning Bug if we postpone treatments some.  That's the silver lining if ever there was one!

Well, back to work.  I'll have to stress about it more later :-)